Okay, I decided to blog while I was on my pain medication to see how it would turn out. For those who haven’t read my previous post, I injured myself last week and am taking some prescription pain medication for it. We have discovered that the pills make me 1) Loopy 2) Easily irritated and 3) sleepy. My commentary on my own goofy state will be in italics. I’m not on the medication anymore. I’m going to try to make the switch to Tylenol tonight. My leg only hurts if I move it. Or if I breathe. Or if the wind blows. Okay, here goes.

I am blogging under the influence, people! M is taking a nap and the babysitter is in the kitchen doing the dishes. I’m not sure if the babysitter is for me or M. I’ll let her do the dishes anyway.
I decided it would be fitting to watch the Twilight movie while I blog. I was reading my book but apparently I was talking about ice-nine in my sleep and Hubs made me stop. Oh! I have to go vote for Lauren. Okay, I’m back.

Seriously. I voted for Lauren and then came back. And wrote that. Because I’m an idiot.

I was going to have the babysitter put the DVD in the player, but she went outside. I hope she’s not smoking out there because that means her breath is gonna stink when she comes back in. Well, maybe I do hope she’s smoking out there because it means she’s not smoking in here. Did that make sense?

Okay, she put the DVD in for me and she got me a glass of milk. Sweet! She doesn’t smell like smoke, so she wasn’t smoking. Maybe she just likes the weather.

My leg is purple. Big and purple like Grimace. Remember him? Ronald McDonald’s big purple friend. He makes me smile sometimes. Oh, I forgot to start the DVD. It’s just sitting on the menu and the music keeps looping and it’s muy annoying.
Opening credits. Phoenix does not look like I thought Phoenix looked like. I’ve never been there before and it looks different than the Phoenix in my head. That is a tiny cactus. …………………………………..

This is where I fell asleep and slept through the whole movie. When I woke up, it was back on the DVD menu. Here’s what I wrote when I woke up:

I slept through the movie! I didn’t even get to see Edward. My leg is still big and purple. I was staring at it and I realized something.
I am just as clumsy as Bella. I’m MORE clumsy than Bella. I’m sitting in bed because of a musical instrument induced injury. And it wasn’t even an instrument I was playing. No one was playing it. I was attacked by a wild musical instrument. When Keyboards Attack! And it pisses me off because she can be clumsy and slip on some ice and trip on a doorstop and she gets adopted by a family of friendly vampires. This book/movie gives false hope to clumsy people that something cool is out there for you. It’s not. Nothing cool has ever happened to me, the clumsiest person to every walk, nay trip over, the face of the earth. I don’t necessarily want vampires, but how about winning the lottery? Which would be really amazing considering we never buy lottery tickets. Well, I have Hubs and M, which is pretty amazing. Haha! Hubs just walked by and I slapped his rear and said, “Hey Baby!”

This is where I fell asleep again. Seriously, my life is pretty amazing. I was being truthful about the clumsy thing. I fall over when I’m standing still and tend to trip on flat ground. Hubs is constantly telling me I have to stop falling down and bumping into things. As I said, the medicine made me irritable. I really am grateful for Hubs and M. And I have a great group of friends to keep me company and keep me happy. And I have my own copy of the Twilight DVD. And yes, my leg is big and purple like Grimace. It is feeling a lot better, though. My doctor says I should be able to start putting my weight back on it tomorrow, so WOO HOO! Maybe I’ll be brave enough to start sewing again tomorrow.