Okay, I decided to blog while I was on my pain medication to see how it would turn out. For those who haven’t read my previous post, I injured myself last week and am taking some prescription pain medication for it. We have discovered that the pills make me 1) Loopy 2) Easily irritated and 3) sleepy. My commentary on my own goofy state will be in italics. I’m not on the medication anymore. I’m going to try to make the switch to Tylenol tonight. My leg only hurts if I move it. Or if I breathe. Or if the wind blows. Okay, here goes.

I am blogging under the influence, people! M is taking a nap and the babysitter is in the kitchen doing the dishes. I’m not sure if the babysitter is for me or M. I’ll let her do the dishes anyway.
I decided it would be fitting to watch the Twilight movie while I blog. I was reading my book but apparently I was talking about ice-nine in my sleep and Hubs made me stop. Oh! I have to go vote for Lauren. Okay, I’m back.

Seriously. I voted for Lauren and then came back. And wrote that. Because I’m an idiot.

I was going to have the babysitter put the DVD in the player, but she went outside. I hope she’s not smoking out there because that means her breath is gonna stink when she comes back in. Well, maybe I do hope she’s smoking out there because it means she’s not smoking in here. Did that make sense?

Okay, she put the DVD in for me and she got me a glass of milk. Sweet! She doesn’t smell like smoke, so she wasn’t smoking. Maybe she just likes the weather.

My leg is purple. Big and purple like Grimace. Remember him? Ronald McDonald’s big purple friend. He makes me smile sometimes. Oh, I forgot to start the DVD. It’s just sitting on the menu and the music keeps looping and it’s muy annoying.
Opening credits. Phoenix does not look like I thought Phoenix looked like. I’ve never been there before and it looks different than the Phoenix in my head. That is a tiny cactus. …………………………………..

This is where I fell asleep and slept through the whole movie. When I woke up, it was back on the DVD menu. Here’s what I wrote when I woke up:

I slept through the movie! I didn’t even get to see Edward. My leg is still big and purple. I was staring at it and I realized something.
I am just as clumsy as Bella. I’m MORE clumsy than Bella. I’m sitting in bed because of a musical instrument induced injury. And it wasn’t even an instrument I was playing. No one was playing it. I was attacked by a wild musical instrument. When Keyboards Attack! And it pisses me off because she can be clumsy and slip on some ice and trip on a doorstop and she gets adopted by a family of friendly vampires. This book/movie gives false hope to clumsy people that something cool is out there for you. It’s not. Nothing cool has ever happened to me, the clumsiest person to every walk, nay trip over, the face of the earth. I don’t necessarily want vampires, but how about winning the lottery? Which would be really amazing considering we never buy lottery tickets. Well, I have Hubs and M, which is pretty amazing. Haha! Hubs just walked by and I slapped his rear and said, “Hey Baby!”

This is where I fell asleep again. Seriously, my life is pretty amazing. I was being truthful about the clumsy thing. I fall over when I’m standing still and tend to trip on flat ground. Hubs is constantly telling me I have to stop falling down and bumping into things. As I said, the medicine made me irritable. I really am grateful for Hubs and M. And I have a great group of friends to keep me company and keep me happy. And I have my own copy of the Twilight DVD. And yes, my leg is big and purple like Grimace. It is feeling a lot better, though. My doctor says I should be able to start putting my weight back on it tomorrow, so WOO HOO! Maybe I’ll be brave enough to start sewing again tomorrow.

First Impressions of the Twilight Movie

It was just as cheesy as I expected it to be, which was great because I love a cheesy movie!

I've only watched it once because I can't watch it with Hubs in the room because he won't shut his fool mouth. He constantly makes fun of it. Anyway:

* I love Charlie. He was the perfect Charlie. :)
* I love that Jasper was just standing there like an angry mannequin in most of his scenes. That's what he was in the book!
* I dug the first cafeteria scene. Everyone staring at them and they're looking back like, "yeah, I could eat you if I wanted to."

Check out Edward's face in this still. Somebody at that table just farted. My guess is Jasper.



* When Edward grabbed Bella and ran up the mountain, it reminded me of this guy from The Price is Right:



Speaking of Edward and running up the mountain, I was MUY DISAPPOINTED that the meadow scene was so different and hardly even there. I loved that part of the book. Driving to the meadow, the first run through the woods, the tender touches, and the first kiss in the woods. I was sad that it was so different.

*We're in ur kitchens. Cookin ur Italian foods.



*I loved all the sultry stares that Rob used as Edward.





This is the "I'm totally going to sex you up three movies from now" look.



*My last observation, I promise. What the freak was Bella wearing on her foot to the prom? Not the cast, but the other thing? That rancid sneaker? I remember in the book that Alice put a stiletto on her. Because Edward was talking about how her leg looked tasty in more ways than one. And then she wears THIS in the movie:



So I did some research and check out what I found!

Magazine photo shoot:


"Speak" poster (disclaimer: I loved this movie and thought Kristen did a great job in it. I'm not decrying the movie. Just pointing out a pattern.)



So the shoes are evidently a part of her being, so there was no way they could include the stiletto.

And I'll end it all up, because a lot of people are not Jacob fans (I'm TE all the way), with this awesome picture of Taylor holding a tiny dog.



Doesn't this make you like him just a little bit?

And this picture of Rob being VERY COLD. Note to movie staff: Please take better care of him this time. He's kind of a big deal. Thanks.

Edward vs. Jacob

Today I had lunch with a friend of mine who has just finished New Moon. Now she is Team Jacob. I'm still friends with her because I love my friends in spite of their flaws. We were enjoying our lunch. I was having Tortellini A La Pana and she was having a Calzone. M was eating chicken nuggets as usual. We were laughing it up like we were in an Olive Garden commercial or something. We weren't even discussing Twilight. When our laughing died down, she comes out with this: "I don't know how you can even like Edward. He's so controlling and abusive." uh UH! She did NOT just say that! So I told her WHY I love Edward and why Jacob makes me want to spit.

Edward isn't controlling. He's protective. He's had a century long dry spell, you'd expect that of him. Yes, he tries to keep her from seeing Jacob in Eclipse, but he later backs off on that and lets her see him, against his better judgment. He even admitted that keeping her from him was wrong because she can make her own decision. That whole situation goes to show that even though Edward goes overboard sometimes, all it takes is Bella standing up to him.

And he isn't abusive. I'm so tired of this accusation against my book boyfriend. It's usually spoken by people who haven't been in an abusive relationship. I'll use personal examples. Not once did I see Edward grabbing Bella by her hair and slamming her against the wall. I never saw him punching her in the stomach because it wouldn't leave a mark. I never saw him tell her she was worthless and unlovable. Never once did he hit her and tell her that she deserved it. And the one time he did actually bruise her, by accident, it took him forever to forgive himself, even though she had forgiven him from the beginning. He was afraid to even touch her after that. And he always, in their relationship, gave her the option to leave if she wanted. Abusive relationships are all about dominance. And Edward was protective, but he didn't assert dominance over Bella.

Jacob was more abusive than Edward. Because 1) He kissed her without her permission, even forcing the kiss on her after she refused him and continued the kiss even after she struggled against him. Then after she broke her hand punching his face in (something he rightfully deserved), he still taunted her boyfriend and tried to flirt with her. 2) He manipulated her emotions over and over again, hurting her over and over again, to try to get what he wanted. 3) He lied to her to manipulate her once again, using freaking SUICIDE as a weapon. He has more markers of an abusive person than Edward has.

I told my friend this and she just sat there dumbfounded for a second and said, "Well, I'm still Team Jacob." *Sigh* I tried, Edward. I really tried.

On a lighter note I'm SOOOOOO excited about the DVD release! I was at Wal-Mart today and they are having a costume contest Friday night. I thought that was hilarious. How do you dress like a Twilight character? What would your costume be?

Confessions

1. I love the Twilight series. That's not the confession. The confession is that I haven't gone to see the movie. I know.



Right? The truth is the holidays consumed me and then I got sick, then M got sick, then I got sick again and I never got to the theater to see it. And I don't like girl above because she smokes pot on her front step like a moron and she constantly bites the hand that feeds her. That being said, I will buy my copy this month and probably squeal like a fangirl all the way through it and then spend hours laughing at it's cheesiness. I'm ashamed to be a fan who did not see the movie on the big screen.

2. I'm addicted to LOLCatz. I got addicted when I was on bedrest. I have over 200 saved on my computer. This one is my favorite. For right now (from icanhascheezburger.com).




When Hubs was moving my files over to my new superawesome laptop he asked me why I had a filed labeled "LOL." I told him it was an important private file.

3. When babychild and I go to the park, I have more fun on the swings and slide than she does.

4. Orange Skittles are my favorite candy. Hubs and I decided recently that we're too wasteful so we're trying to be more mindful of how we use things. I don't buy Skittles anymore because I can't justify buying a whole bag just for the orange ones. I miss skittles. :-(

5. I like classic literature and Twilight, but when I really need to just space out and read absolute fluff, I crack out my old Babysitter's Club Books. I keep them in stacks of ten under my bed.

6. I run on the track at the gym because the old ladies on the treadmills can run faster than me and it makes me self-conscious.

7. I'm terrified of carnies and bugs.

8. I still have nightmares (and daymares) about being bullied in high school. I'm still terrified and completely un-trusting of people, which is probably why I don't have many real life friends. Some stuff never leaves.

9. I want to quit my work at home job and start my own business, but I'm too afraid to with the economy the way that it is.

10. I like to challenge people to dance-offs when we have an argument. I always lose the dance-off.

No judgment here! Leave your confessions in the comments if you need to get something off your chest.