Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Pumpkins

I know i haven't posted in awhile. I'm so terribly sorry. This thing called life keeps happening, and I've decided that I want to experience it as much as possible. So I've kind of neglected my blog. For that I am sorry.

I decided to be festive in this post.

There you go. It's a pumpkin, 'cause it's fall and stuff, y'all! I love a good pumpkin pie, cheesecake, bread, cookie, or muffin. I love the way it smells when it's baking. I love the smooth flavor. It just tastes like autumn should taste. So today I salute the pumpkin.

Today I started planning my Thanksgiving menu. I love to cook Thanksgiving dinner. The turkey and I, we spend quality time together. I'm especially looking forward to this year because instead of just me and M and the Hubs, we're having some very special familial guests. For that I am extremely thankful and willing to go out on a culinary limb. That's right. I'm going to make my own pumpkin puree instead of buying the canned stuff. All I know so far is that I need to buy a pie pumpkin and not one of the big jack-o-lantern pumpkins. Once I figure it out, I plan to post pictures of the process and maybe some tutorial tips, so stay tuned.

Fall is my favorite time of year. What's your favorite time of year?

PS My friend Lauren is doing an awesome giveaway this week of a vintage Coach bag from Orange Twine. Make sure you check it out!

Friday, August 27, 2010

Things I love right now

Like, right this second. Because the things I love change often.

My sunflowers in a mason jar


We are trying to sell our house. This means a lot of things. It means most of our stuff (including our vases) are in storage right now. It also means that our realtor said to make our house more "welcoming." What's more welcoming than fresh flowers? Of course, I didn't remember that we had no vases until I got home with these beautiful, happy sunflowers. No worries. I had an empty mason jar in the cabinet, so I cut the stems short and made a sweet little bouquet that's not overpowering. Don't they look like they're saying, "Hi! Buy our house at the price we listed it at!" I felt so much like Martha Stewart when I did this, except without the insider trading stuff.

Mockingjay

Dude. I've told you already to read Hunger Games and Catching Fire. Now you have another book to read. I can't even talk about it without spoiling, but I will say that it is FANTASTIC and your life is LESS because you haven't read these books. Seriously, I would say they're on the same level as Harry Potter. Yeah, I just went there. They are in no way comparable in storyline, but in a beautifully crafted story they are running in the same race. Read them.

Blanket


One of my dear friends is having her first baby, a little girl. I started crocheting this sweet melon blanket for her last week and it is almost finished. I can't wait to give it to her!



What are you loving right now?

Monday, August 16, 2010

Eyeball of Fire


So today I set my eyeball on fire. It was fantastic. A life lesson for sure.

We're doing some home improvement. Hubs noticed that the caulk in the shower was a light beige, instead of being white, and asked if I could see if I could get it clean. You know, because I know so much about caulk (that was sarcasm). And because I'm a cleaning ninja (that was not sarcasm). So I armed myself with vinegar and baking soda, which was a bust, but is awesome for cleaning a toilet or building a model volcano. Then I went for the big guns: Bleach. Let me tell you about bleach. It'll kill you with it's fumes. It stinks like a rotten egg. But it will clean anything, including almost-but-not-quite-white beige caulk.

We have a woodpecker at our house. Bear with me, I'm not having an attention deficit moment. I hate him. He likes to peck on the metal window frame in our bathroom. So he chose the moment that I was pouring pure bleach onto the cloth to start hammering away at the window frame like he was drilling an oil well or something. So of course I jumped.

I watched the bleach arc through the air in a slow-motion movie montage. There was nothing I could do but yell NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! for a few seconds as the splatter flew toward my face. It hit right below my left eye. FIRE. FIRE, I TELL YOU! Pure bleach burns. Public Service Announcement. I fell to the floor, clutching my face, completely unprepared for this type of disaster.

I am prepared for many different disasters. Tornadoes, check. Earthquakes, check. Zombie Apocalypse, check. Freaking bleach in my eye, compliments of a unintelligent woodpecker? Not so much. I scrambled into the bedroom and called Poison control:

Me: AUUUUGHHH! FIRE! FIRE IN MY EYE! IT BUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRNNNNNNS!

Poison Control Operator: What?

Me: MY EYE IS BURNING! EYE OF SAURON! MY EYEBALL IS MELTING! BLEEEEEAAAAACCCCCHHHH!

PCO: You poured bleach in your eye?

Me: NO! WHY WOULD I POUR BLEACH IN MY EYE ON PURPOSE? I'M NOT A MORON! WHY AREN'T YOU MORE UPSET ABOUT THIS? THIS IS UPSETTING!

PCO: Ma'am, calm down. Did you get bleach directly in your eye?

Me: No! It landed below my eye!

PCO: Your eye is just irritated from the fumes. You need to rinse the area the bleach touched, then hold a cold cloth over your eye for about half and hour, and you'll feel better.

Me: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! I LOVE YOU POISON CONTROL MAN!

PCO: If the irritation continues, or if you have vision problems, you need to go straight to your ER.

Me: What is your address? I would like to send you a slightly inappropriate card to thank you.

PCO: *click*

So I have a spot on my face that looks like leprosy or something. My eyeball has stopped being on fire and is simply smoldering. It looks something like this:


Please be careful when cleaning with pure bleach. You never know when an insane woodpecker is going to destroy the semblance of peace in your cleaning haven and cause you serious injury.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Insomnia

I have insomnia. All the time. At least once a week. It really stinks. Sometimes people ask me why I don't just use that time to get things done. It's because I'm too angry. I really love my sleep. I think sleep is sacred and holy and wonderful and it makes me very angry when I can't sleep. Even moreso now that I have a child and I can't take naps during the day. Someone asked me the other day what it's like to have insomnia. I think everyone's experience is probably different, but here's what it's like for me.

9:00 - I start my bedtime routine. Yes, like a baby has a bedtime routine. I have one, too, per order of my doctor. All lamps but one go off in the living room, my computer goes off, tv goes off. I read or crochet, nothing involving bright lights.

9:45 - I brush my teeth, put on my pajamas, all that jazz.

9:55 - I do two Sudoku puzzles. I don't know why, but I can't sleep if I haven't done two of them.

10:15 - Go to bed. No reading, TV, or keeping my lamp on. Dark, quiet, cool.

Most nights this works. The nights it doesn't work, it goes something like this:

10:15

Brain says: "I won't go to sleep! You can't make me! Think of stressful things! THINK OF STRESSFUL THINGS!!"

Me: "Noooooooooooooooooooo! Go to sleep!"

Brain: "You're not my mom! I refuse to go to sleep!"

Ear: "I can hear everything within a 10 mile radius! Hooray! Brain! Stay awake and listen to my sounds!"

Brain: "Suh-weet!"

Me: "GO TO SLEEP"

Brain and Ear: "NO!"

Bird: " It's nighttime, but I'm going to sit outside your window and sing like it's daytime! LALALALALALALALALALALALALALA!"

Crazy Neighbor Dog: "OH MY WORD! THERE'S A BIRD! A BIRD! A BIRD! BIRDBIRDBIRDBIRDBIRDBIRDBIRD!"

Nyquil: "Take as much of me as you want. I'm not helping you sleep tonight!"

Neighbor Truck: "I'm a ridiculously loud piece of machinery. I shouldn't even exist because my noise is so obnoxious. That doesn't stop my owner from idling me in his driveway for 30 minutes at 2am then roaring off down the street like we're on the way to a fire or something."

Fire Truck: "I am on my way to a fire! WEOOWEOOOWEOOOWEOOOOWEOOO!"

Hubs' nose: "whistlewhistlewhistleSNOREwhistlewhistlewhistleSNORE"

Me:
3:00 am Everything is quiet. I start to doze.

Brain: "Did you remember to unplug your flat iron?"

4:00am I finally fall into an uneasy, not restful sleep.

7:00 am M wakes up.

Me the next day:

The point of this post? There's really not one. Just enjoy your sleep. And think of me and my pathetic unsleepy brain while you're wandering around in sugarplum land.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Recipe time!

Peanut butter pie. Mmmmmmmmmmm. I love peanut butter. I love pies. So peanut butter pie sounds like a win to me. Here we go. You'll need:

8oz cream cheese (softened)
1 1/4 c powdered sugar
1 cup peanut butter
1 T evaporated milk
1 tsp vanilla
2 cartons of Cool Whip (yeah, baby)
1 graham cracker or Oreo pie crust
1 package Reeses' cups

First you want to blend your cream cheese and powdered sugar until it's smooth. DON'T turn on your mixer full blast, or you'll end up with a powdered sugar fail, as demonstrated in this photo:

When your powdered sugar and cream cheese are smooth, add peanut butter. I love how smooth the peanut butter top is when you open a new jar.

Add your evaporated milk and vanilla at this stage. Once again, mix until smooth. Now comes the good part. Crack open one of those Cool Whip cartons and dump the whole thing in. Mix until you have this:

YUM. Pour this filling into your pie crust (we prefer Oreo crust, but we had a guest over tonight who doesn't like chocolate so I used a graham crust). Open your second container of Cool Whip and cover the pie with it. Chop the Reeses cups and sprinkle them on top.* Cover and refrigerate.

Seriously. best. dessert. ever.

*Tip, freeze your Reeses cups while you prepare the pie. By the time you're ready to chop them they'll have stiffened up a bit and will be less likely to melt as you're chopping them.

Let me know if you try and like the recipe. Bon appetit, my friends!

Monday, July 12, 2010

Sara Rants and Raves

So I know it's been awhile since I posted. Sorry. I decided to take a little hiatus after LOST took it's permanent hiatus. We also had a death in the family, a week and a half vacation, and we're getting our house ready to go on the market. Squee! I love a new house! I'll be posting more from now on.

PETTY RANT - I hate going to the dentist. Let me re-word that so it's easier to understand. I would rather let Secretariat stomp on my face that go to the dentist. I hate it. I have very good teeth. They are straight, and I've never had braces or even a retainer. They are clean because I'm terrified of having bad breath, so I floss and brush regularly like a good little girl. My cleanings are always a breeze and take no time. The hygentist raves about my teeth and how I take such good care of them. I had an appointment today. Everything went swimmingly, then the dentist walked in. He did the dentist thing, where he told me to open my mouth, touched to of my teeth with his scrapy thing and said, "You need to floss more." Are you serious? I floss EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. Sometimes twice a day if I eat something stringy like celery. Are dentists just required to say that to everyone? Because it offended me. I know it's petty, but there it is. Dear Dentist: I already floss every day. Find something new to say.

RAVE - So Hubs and I took M to see Despicable Me this weekend. GO SEE IT! It's wonderful. Not only did it solidify my desire to have minions (who knew minions were so cute?!), but it had plenty to keep us entertained, and plenty to keep M entertained. I don't want to give the movie away, but I will share Hubs' favorite line with you, "I said DART gun, not FART gun!" Comic GOLD!

Parting notes: I feel like LOST created a vacuum and I should be writing a review of something occasionally. Any suggestions? Thanks for still reading, if you're still reading. Sorry I was MIA for so long.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Things I love at the moment


My Scrabble Tile pendents
So for Christmas my darling mother-in-law (seriously love her) bought me my first scrabble tile necklace and so started the addiction. I LOVE these and they're all over Etsy. These are the ones I've bought recently. Don't ask me which one is my fave, because it depends on what shirt I'm wearing at the moment.

The Uh-Mazing Chocolate Chocolate chip cookies I made today.
MMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmNomnomnom

This little guy.
I found this cute ring holder for 25 cents at a garage sale. Score! He sits on my bathroom vanity and holds my rings for me.

My hootie owl wristlet
I ordered this at my friend's ThirtyOne party recently. I LOVE it!


V8 Fusion Acai Mixed Berry Juice
Seriously love this stuff. Too bad I have to practically take out a loan to buy a bottle.

What are you loving right now?

Monday, May 24, 2010

Last LOST recap EVER

*Sigh* It's over. I'm not going to do my normal play-by-play. I would love to, but you have to understand that it would be the longest blog post ever. It was the longest finale ever. So I'm just going to touch on some finer points of the show and we can discuss in the comments, or continue scratching our heads. Observations from the show:

-Previously on LOST, really? They just did a giant clip show from the beginning of the series to the last episode. They could have put that 50 seconds to better use.

-When Sawyer snuck up on Darth and Ben to spy on them at the well, did he seriously pick the smallest, scraggliest bush on the island to hide behind? Because that was a tiny bush, and it was, like, 3 feet from them. Sawyer's got some rough edges when it comes to being sneaky.

-It wouldn't have been a LOST episode without someone hitting Ben in the face with the butt of a gun, so well done, writers.

-My heart almost burst when I saw Vincent, Rose, and Bernard. For real, I love them all so much, and I worried that they would be one of the unanswered questions.

-I almost laughed out loud when Kate and Jack declared their love for each other. In fact, Hubs and I had to rewatch that part because we were too busy making up our own dialogue for that section.

-Hurley shooting Charlie in the back with a tranquilizer dart made my day. I lol-ed.

-I loved Ben in this episode. LOVED him.

-I don't usually laugh at anything involving Kate, unless she's getting punched or knocked down, but I laughed when she pointed out the obvious symbolism of Christian Shepherd's name.

-I laughed like a loon at two parts: The part where Locke "remembers" and they show him with the orange in his mouth. Locke was always a creepster, even when he was just normal Locke; and the part after he remembers and is giggling at Jack.

-Did any other Star Trek lovers think of the scene with Spock in "Wrath of Khan" when Desmond was turning off the light (or Jack was turning it on)?

-I jumped in the air and yelled "YEAH, BABY!" when we realized that Richard survived his trip into the trees, courtesy of the smoke monster. Hubs and I have been arguing about whether he was dead or not all week long.

-Daniel's fedora is his new skinny tie. He's worn it in every episode he's been in lately. I did something unheard of last night and stayed up to watch Jimmy Kimmel (usually waaay too late for me) and Daniel was wearing the SAME hat. I think it may be stuck to his head.

Okay. Onto what I think. I was furious last night. And disappointed. It took sleeping on it for awhile for me to come around a little bit. I am happy with the ending. I'm glad that they all get to be together. It would make sense that the relationships they forged on the island would be the most important in their lives. I thought the "going to heaven all together" thing was a bit contrived, but, hey, they made it to the end and we got to see them all whole and together, so I guess that makes me happy. They all got some form of redemption that they had been seeking, and became better people as opposed to their early, self-absorbed selves. Oh, but sorry David. You were just a figment of your dad's imagination. I'm sorry I kind of got into your story line because it didn't mean anything.

Questions I wish they would have answered. I know they said they wouldn't answer all the questions, and it's better that way. I just wish they would have answered a few of the big questions:

-Explain the light. I know Jacob eluded to its purpose, but he didn't explain it, nor why it was so important to protect. And it it seriously kept in place by a rock cork? You'd think the island protectors would have made it a little more foolproof.

-Explain the numbers. What are they exactly? Why do they show up EVERYWHERE? Why are they unlucky? Are they coordinates? The combination to Jacob's bus locker?

-I know this one is minor, but what was the Smoke Monster's name? Because we only know him as Smoke Monster, and if Allison Janney mom really named him that, what was she expecting? It's like naming your child Adolf and being surprised that he turns out to be a bully.

-Why did all of the women suddenly have bangs in season four?

-Why didn't Daniel, Miles, Lapidus, Richard, Eko, or Walt appear in the afterlife? Was it for couples and Hurley only?? I know Ben was resolving some things before he went into the church (waiting for Alex, and to apologize to Danielle, perhaps?), but where were those people? Michael said on Jimmy Kimmel that Michael was not there because he's forever stuck on the island, whispering. Bummer.

All in all, I guess I'm satisfied. I don't know what I was expecting. That wasn't it, but it wasn't terrible. The producers always said that the show was more about the characters than the mystery, but I wish they would have answered a few more questions.

What about you, what did you think?

Sunday, May 23, 2010

My initial reaction to the LOST finale

YES

I will do a LOST post this week...BUT you'll have to wait for it. Because I'm not going to write as I watch the show, like I usually do. I'll rewatch the show in the next couple of days and write my review then. I want to just watch tonight. :)

Happy viewing!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

LOST recap

Previews - everybody dies, everybody else cries

We see Jack's eyeball, just like in the series pilot! Apparently Jack got attacked by a vampire in the night because his neck is gushing blood. David walks in and tells him he made breakfast. A bowl of cereal. Claire comes in the room and David offers her some cereal. She looks happy to be eating Super Bran. Anything to get the bowels moving in late pregnancy will make you happy, tu-rust me. Oceanic calls to let Jack know they found the coffin. It's really Desmond playing "island cupid" again. Jack's on the beach working on Kate's bullet wound. He tells her it's going to hurt and she just needs to man up. He sews her up and it's gross. Kate tells Jack that Sun and Jin have a little girl. She says they have to kill him and Jack says, "I know." LOST

Stuff from the sub starts washing up on the beach. Sawyer's watching it and he's P.I.S.S.E.D. I am, too. Who litters up a beach like that for the sake of the TV show? Rude LOST producers, that's who. Kate runs up and starts pawing all over Sawyer. Hurley looks on in disbelief, because he's never seen such a hoochie in his life. Jack comes in and declares himself leader again and tells them to stop being melancholy, because we're about to go free the life of the party from the well!!

Desmond is watching Locke return to school. Ben tells him to stop and Desmond beats the stuff out of him. Desmond don't take no lip off of NOBODY! Ben has a flashback-sideways, etc. Ben, Richard, and Miles are walking through the woods, looking for Dharma camp. Ben tells them he has some awesome bottlerockets back at his place and they're going to go get drunk and shoot them off. Miles suddenly hears a dead person. Ben tells him to cut the crap. Richard tells Ben it's Alex, that he buried her there. Ben thanks Richard and walks away. They enter his house and start looking for his C4 collection. No one raided Ben's safe. They take all the C4 because, like the Mythbusters, if you're going to blow something up, you'd better do it right. Annoying glasses lady is sneaking around in Ben's house and then Widmore walks in.

Charles helps himself to a glass of water because he's the world's wost houseguest. Charles tells Glasses to leave. I can't stand that dweeb, so I'm glad she's gone. Charles tells him that Jacob came to see him after the freighter was destroyed and told him how to take care of Locke. Charles tells Ben they need to hide.

The school nurse is treating Ben's cuts. Locke comes in to check on him. Ben tells him he was trying to take out the man who ran him down. Locke pulls out his phone to call the police. Ben tells Locke that Des wasn't trying to hurt him. He was trying to get Locke to let go and Ben believes him. Locke is perplexed. Des walks into the police office and asks to speak to a detective. Miles is getting ready to go something with his dad. They bring Des to see Sawyer, because Sawyer is currently the only detective in L.A., and Des tells him that he ran Locke down and beat the stuffing out of Des. Sawyer thanks him for turning himself in because he'll have time to meet his buddies for a game of Parcheesi tonight instead of chasing down rogue Desmonds. Des is locked up with Sayid and Kate and looks very pleased with himself.

Jack and Sawyer are tromping through the jungle. Sawyer and Jack are questioning Locke's motives and his imprisoning of Desmond. Sawyer asks if he killed Jin and Sun and Jack tells him no, Darth Locke killed them. My poor, heartbroken Sawyer. Hurley and Kate eye each other in the woods. Hurley stops because he sees something and hears and elephants braying in the distance. Young Jacob asks Hurley for the ashes and runs away. Hurley can run pretty fast, but not fast enough to catch a jungle kid. C'mon, Hurley. Hurley comes up to grown-up Jacob in the woods, holding his bag of ashes. Jacob tells him that his ashes are in the campfire and when it burns out, he'll never see him again. He tells Hurley we're getting near the end. DUM DUM DUUUUUUUUUM

Darth Locke steps onto the dock and glares at the luggage. I know, Dlocke. It's rude to just junk up the dock with your luggage. Lazy frackin' islanders. Ben is waiting for Darth Locke. Miles wants to run. He gives Miles a walkie talkie, then Richard decides he wants to be the martyr. Miles runs away. Richard and Ben emerge and go out to talk to Smokey. Smokey attacks Richard and Ben's thinking maybe his idea wasn't so stellar after all and sits down to think about his life. Dlocke emerges and says he wants to talk to Ben. Ben offers him some lemonade. Locke sits down with his knife and starts trimming his nails. Dlocke asks him to kill some people for him and says Ben can have the island to himself. Ben says, "sure! Do you want me to water your houseplants while I'm at it, buddy?" Locke asks whose boat it is and Ben tells him and also tells Locke that Charles is hiding in his closet.

Sideways Ben drops his keys and teenage jailbait Alex picks up the keys for him and asks Ben to let she and her mom drive him home. Of course Danielle says yes. She's very thankful. And pretty beautiful when she doesn't have jungle hair and thirteen years of visible B.O. clinging to her body. Danielle's mom says he'll have dinner with them or she'll kidnap him. Guffaws all around. Ben is pretty smitten with Danielle. Danielle tells Ben that Alex sees him as a father. Ben thinks that's the shiz and is very happy. Alex studies in the corner. Ben starts crying and blames it on the onions. It's lurve, y'all.

Ben and Locke enter his house and go to look for Charles. He opens the bookcase. Locke tells him to leave and Ben says he wants to see it. Ben apologizes to Charles. He's totally going to off Glasses. Yup, slit her throat. Charles is upset. That was the only smart-looking minion he had. Locke tells Charles when he leaves, he's gonna kill Penny. Charles can stop it if he just tells him why he can come back. Charles explains that he brought Des back because he can withstand high doses of electromagnetism. No one understands what this mean, so they decide to whisper instead of explaining that one to us. Ben blows Charles away and says he doesn't get to save his daughter. Locke is pleased. and cleans his knife. Ben is now a zombie of some sorts. Ben asks who else he needs to kill. Kate! Kate! Kate! Oh, and Darth Locke because he totally wrinkled Richard's shirt when he slammed him into that tree. Not cool!

Hurley brings the woodsie's to see Jacob. Everybody's like, "WHOA!" and Hurley's all "See, I'm not a crazy person!" Hurley's surprised they all can see him. Kate asks if everyone's dead because their names are written on the wall. Jacob apologizes. She asked if they died for nothing. Jacob invites them to sit down while he spins a yarn about an island, some people, and a funny poof of smoke. They all toast Essence of Jacob smore's and play Truth or Dare for a few hours. Sawyer suggests that they put their food in the tree so it doesn't attract polar bears. Hurley freezes Jack's bra. Jacob also reveals that he's picking a new island protector tonight and they're all contestants! Kate's upset because she knows she'll only win if it's a "taking off your shirt" contest.

Wheelchair Locke comes in to see Jack and Surgeon Jack is thrilled. Locke asks about David and Jack asks him what he's doing there. Locke tells him that they were on the same plane from Sydney, and then he was hit by a car and ends up as Jack's patient. He thinks it's fate. So he wants Jack to fix him now. Jack says, "You are so wishy-washy, Locke. You need to learn to say yes when you mean yes and no when you mean no." Locke says it all happened for a reason and he thinks maybe Jack needs to fix him. He puts himself up as a candidate for surgery. Jack smiles at him, because nothing makes Jack smile like flaying some poor dude's back open.

Jacob tells him that he brought them there for selfish reasons. Jacob says that he's responsible for the smoke monster, he made him that way, and then the smoke monster killed him. Sawyer asked him what gives him the right. Jacob tells Sawyer to shut his fool mouth, he's a loser, and will not win Island Leader contest. He says he chose them because they were alone. Kate asks why her name was crossed out and Jacob says because she came a mother. Jack asks what the job is and Jacob tells them about the light and that they have to protect the light from Barney. They also have to pick litter up off the beach after a hurricane. Jack asks if they should kill Smokey and Jacob looks at him with sad face. Hurley asks who wins the tribal council. Jacob tells him that they have a choice. Kate asks what happens if none of them choose and Jacob says it will end badly. Jack takes the responsibility and the world is shocked, not. Jacob's proud of his boy. Sawyer's pissed because Jack raised his hand before Sawyer could. Hurley's relieved that he still has no responsibility in life. Kate's trying to decide who she should flirt with next and wonders if DarthLocke likes brunettes.

Walking through the jungle again. So much walking through the woods. Sawyer makes a God-complex joke and we all laugh. Jacob tells him to go to the bamboo and the light and that he needs to go protect it. Jacob scoops up some creekwater and does the incantation. Then he gives it to Jack to drink. Jacks thinking, "This water isn't purified or anything. I hope this isn't the creek we pee in." Jack asks how long he needs to do this job, because he has a teeth cleaning scheduled for next Tuesday. Little late to be asking about that. Should have asked in the interview phase. Jacob says as long as you can and Jack drains the cup. Jacob is totally about to make out with Jack. He tells Jack now he's like Jacob. A whiny little girl. Jack was already a whiny little girl, Jacob. Where have you been? Oh yeah, dead in a fire.

Sawyer let's Kate and Sayid out of jail. Kate tries to work her wiles on him, reminding him of how sexy she looked in the elevator at the airport. Sawyer tells her to shut up. BURN! Sayid, Des, and Kate are being transported. Des says he thinks it's time to leave. He says the driver knows where to stop and he has to trust them and promise to do what he says. Sayid promises and Kate promises, and they exchange "check out the crazy guy" smiles. Suddenly the truck stops, doors open and Ana Lucia lets them out at the docks. A Hummer drives up and Hurley steps out. Hurley gives her a big envelope of money. Ana Lucia drives off Hurley gives him keys to a car. Des sends Sayid with Hurley and Kate with himself. He tells Kate they're going to a concert and gives her a little black dress, asking her with a sigh to try not to be such a harlot tonight.

Ben asks Locke why he walks instead of turning into smoke. Locke says he likes the feel of the ground under his feet. It reminds him that he used to be human. They're at Desmond's well. They find it empty of Desmond, but full of water. Ben asks what Widmore said to him. Locke says that Desmond is a failsafe, Jacob's last resort. Locke says Jacob/Jackob needs Desmond to destory the island. LOST.

Preview: Creepy lady from Poltergeist reads the preview.

So this episode was good. I liked it. I did not like what Smokey did to Richard, but I'm banking that Richard's not dead yet.

Thoughts in the comments?

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

LOST recap

This episode was so weird and wonderful. I still don't know how I feel about it.

A woman pops up out of the ocean and makes her way to the beach. She's totes huge preggo and shouldn't be hiking through the jungle and climbing on rocks all alone. What is it about this island that sucks in the pregnant women? A woman in a Jesus costume starts speaking to her and offers to help. She gives her food and girl is chowing down. The woman dresses her wounds They start speaking in English all the sudden. Wah?? Floaty woman starts having contractions. Then she delivers the baby by a campfire in a big mudpile, because, you know, that's the most sterile place to birth the baby. The baby is a boy. She names him Jacob. Then she births evil boy who becomes evil man who becomes evil Locke. Those babies hate each other. She only picked one name. Uh, I guess Jake's the fave from the beginning. Jacob's not even crying, but evil baby is tearing it up in the screaming dept. Jesus costume woman bashes Jacob's mom with a rock. She didn't think that one out at. all. How's she going to feed those babies now? Stoopid.

The waves roll in and the waves roll out...sorry, I have baby beluga stuck in my head. Bieber aged evil finds a game of badminton on the beach and Bieber aged Jake asks if he can play. Evil boy says yes, as long as they keep it from mother forever. Bieber Jake goes back to the camp where Evil mama is weaving. Jacob asks to help because he's a good little boy. Always a good little boy. She asks what they were doing at the beach and he lies. She totally guilts him into telling her. Who brought the giant sea turtle to the island? That was not a Jacob sanctioned turtle! Evil mom came to the beach and tells evil boy that he's not as good as Jacob. She tells him he's special. She reveals that she left the game for evilboy to find. Evilmom tells him that there's nothing but the island. He asks about his grandma and they talk about death. Evilboy asks what death is and she tells him it's something he'll never have to worry about.

Jacob and evilboy are chasing a boar through the woods when vikings come up and stab the boar. They gut the boar everybody watches. The boys run home and tell creepmom that someone else is on the island. She tells them that they are here for a reason. She hemhaws around and finally takes them, blindfolded, through the jungle to a weird glowy epicenter of the island. She tells them that she's made it so they can never hurt each other. There's a cavern with light and says that they're here to protect this light. This is turning into a Sci-Fi special. She says if the light goes out here, it goes out everywhere. She says she can't protect it forever, but one of them will have to.

Jacob and Boy whose name we do not know are playing. Jacob's whining about the rules and whatshisname tells him one day he can make his own games and make up his own rules. Their real, bashed-in-the-head-with-a-rock mother appears to only whatshisname. He takes off to spend quality time with his mama. She says Jacob can't see her because she's dead and offers to take him across the island to the place he came from. There's a settlement and she tells him these are his people and he came from across the sea. Oh, and I'm your mother. Later whatshisname leaves the camp and takes Jacob with him. Jacob attacks him and punches him. His mother pulls them apart. Darkboy tells his mama how it is. He begs Jacob to come along with him and says they don't belong with evilmama. Jacob refuses to go. She tells darkboy that he will never be able to leave the island and he promises that one day he will.

Evil mama is crying on the beach. Jacob walks up and asks what's up and when's darkboy coming back. Jacob asks about his mother. She tells him that she wants him to stay good. He asks why she loves darkboy more than she loves him. She's got the "busted" look on her face, then gives him the lame "love in different ways answer" and asks him to stay. He says yes, for awhile.

Back at camp Jacob is all grown up and still weaving. Jacob has grown into a whiny doofus, a la Luke Skywalker. Mom looks a little loopy. Jacob goes to play with Darth. They play their game. Darth asks why Jacob watches the settlement. Darth says they're just as bad as mama always said. Darth says they're a means to an end. He's leaving the island. Darth throws his knife up against the magnetic well where Desmond is. He tells Jacob they found something and asks Jacob to come with him. Jacob says he doesn't want to leave. The island is his home. Darth says he's leaving. Mama questions Jacob and then goes through the jungle to see this for herself. She climbs down the mineshaft and finds Darth barbecueing. He pulls a knife on her and she asks if she can join him. He says no, sorry, he only has enough boar ribs for one. He explains that he couldn't find the light in the island, so he decided to dig for it. The donkey wheel is in the background. Darth pulls a piece of rock out of the wall and the light shines through. He explains how the donkey wheel works. She's mad and asks him how he knows all of this. He says he's special and sounds like Buster on Arrested Development. He tells her he doesn't belong here. She hugs him and they cry and say their goodbyes. She tells him she is so sorry and then smashes his head into the wall. She's got head bashing issues.

Jacob is sleeping and his mom wakes him up and tells him it's time. She takes Jacob to the light and tells him that he is going to protect it now. She tells him it's the heart of the island. She makes him promise to never go down there. He asks if he'd die and she tells him it'd be worse than dying. She gives Jacob the now famous bottle of wine and starts talking some hibbedly jibbedly and has Jacob drink the wine if he accepts the responsibility to protect the island as long as he can. He doesn't want to do it and tells her he knows that she loved Darth more. She tells him he has no choice. He drinks the wine. Why didn't he just choose Richard to replace him?

Darth is dead on the ground, then his eyes open. He sits up and the well has been filled in and all the people are gone. He is not happy with mama. He sees smoke in the distance and finds him settlement burning with all the people dead, not just dead. Mutilated. He finds his game and cries. Well, everybody on this show doesn't have daddy issues. Mommy issues are mega worse.

Mama and Jacob are in the jungle and it's thundering. She tells Jacob he needs to go. She smiles a knowing smile and wanders off. She goes back to the camp and finds Jacob's weaving torn to shreds and Darth's little game. Then Darth stabs her in the back, cause he's a brave one that way. She lies there bleeding to death and he crawls over and asks why she wouldn't let him leave. She says because she loves him. Then she thanks him and dies. Darth cries and Jacob stumbles up and asks him what he did and starts punching him. He finally stops, picks Darth up and drags him through the jungle to the light. He throws Darth in the creek and tells him to get into the light tunnel. Darth goes into the tunnel, then the light goes out and Smokey escapes. Anyone else think that's the magic Lipton hot tub? Yep, me too.

Jacob is rinsing his face and looks down the creek to see Darth laying on the rocks. He rushes over to him and cries as he hugs him and pets his hair. He carries Darth back to camp and lays him down in the cave. So the bodies in the cave are Mama and brother.

previews. Next week is the premier of the new LOST music video, apparently.

Observations:
-There's something special about that there bottle of wine. Jacob had to drink it to take over the island. Richard had to drink it to become ageless. Hrmmmm.....

-What in the hades does the "light" DO?

-How did Jacobs little evil mama knock out muscular Darth, cave in a well and tunnel, kill and mutilate an entire camp of people, and set the camp on fire BY HERSELF. Insanity, I tell you.

previews. Next week is the premier of the new LOST music video, apparently.

Thoughts in the comments

Friday, May 7, 2010

LOST recap

Locke wakes up in a hospital bed with Jack standing over him. They chitchat and Jack says, "I think you're a candidate. For an awesome new surgery. Not to be landlord of the island. You suck at landlording islands." Peggy Bundy busts in the room right as Locke turns him down. She kisses all over Jack and Jack likes it.

On the island Jack wakes up in a boat with Sayid, who welcomes him to Hydra island. At Widmore headquarters everyone leers at the band of groupies as "Doughboy" tries to force them into the bear cage, because that's what you do when you're trying to protect someone from a smoke monster. You lock them in a cage with some fish biscuits. Sawyer steals Doughboy's gun and Widmore threadens to shoot Kate, saying she's worthless. I just joined teamed Widmore. Sawyer relinquishes his gun because he's WHIPPED and backs into the bear cage. Widmore orders his lackeys to get the fence fixed. I think he's tired of his team just sitting around and looking all worried like Doughboy.

Sideways Jack comes to see Bernard and asks about Locke's dental surgery. Bernie totally busts Jack on flirting with Rose on the plane. Bernard gives Jack Anthony Cooper's name.

Sayid and Jack are shooting the breeze on the beach and Locke comes up all Rambo and tells Jack to suit up, they're going to turn into smoke poofs and tear it up now. Jack tells Locke he's not leaving the island and Locke says, "Zoinks! Almost had a complete set!" Locke threatens to kill Jack and all his friends if Jack doesn't come with him. Jack says......suspense....and scene. I bet Jack says yes. Sawyer and Kate are pacing their love nest/bear cage. Sawyer tells Kate she's not as important as she thinks she is, and there will be no bear cage lovin' tonight. Buuuuurrrrrrnnnnn.

Jin and Sun are catching up (too cute!). Jin tells her that their daughter is beautiful and she gives him his wedding ring back. Suddenly the whole compound powers down and Smokey appears in the woods. He kills Doughboy (YAY!) as Kate reaches for the keys. Like everything on LOST, the keys are just out of the castaways reach. Jack unlocks the cage and rescues them all. And our show is interrupted for primary voting coverage. This better not be cutting into my show. Seriously. I don't care who the mayor is. Shut up and turn LOST on.

Back. They're walking through the jungle. Lepedis is looking r-o-u-g-h. Kate tells Jack he's not going and she's all pissed because she wants two boy toys and now she'll only have one. Sawyer thanks Jack for helping them. Sayid walks up and they have a stand-off before they all remember they're on the same team.

Jack's in a nursing home going to visit Anthony and Helen shows up. Helen tells Jack to get lost, he's not wanted here. He tells her it's not enough to know he saved Locke. He has to know that he fixed everything in the universe because he is the human equivalent to duct tape. She reluctantly takes him to meet a very old and catatonic looking Anthony Cooper, not because she wants to but because Jack is obviously crazy and you comply with crazy people. She tells Jack that terrified looking Anthony is John's father.

Back at the plane Locke stomps out of the woods and kills all of Widmore's men without breaking a sweat, or even turning into clicky sounding smoke. He stops and steals a guy's calculator watch. Locke, you can totally get those at Walgreen's for $6. He goes inside to inspect the plane and finds la bomba. The B.O. gang staggers out of the woods and Lepedis is excited. They see the dead people and Locke says, "Yeah, I did it." He tells them all about the bomb. Locke tells them all that they have to take the submarine off the island. Hurley tells them thht they're not supposed to leave the island. Jacob says they needed to stay. Sawyer joins the dark side, at least that's what I think he said. I was distracted by the cloud of swearing exploding from his mouth. Jack confirms that he's not leaving the island but will still help them. Sawyer tells Jack they need to get rid of DarthLocke because he's a downer. He tells Jack to get DarthLocke in the water, he'll take care of the rest. Sawyer, that's the best plan ever. Push the indestructible poof of smoke that's masquerading as Locke into the ocean. That'll stop him. Why didn't anyone else on the ISLAND, surrounded by OCEAN, ever think of that?

Sideways Locke is waking up and Jack's hovering over him. Locke is sleeping and mumbles, "Push the button." and "I wish you had believed me." Jack goes out into the hall and runs into not jungle-fied Claire. It's amazing what a little glossing cream will do. He buys an Apollo bar from the machine and offers it to Claire who refuses it because she's one of those weirdos who refuses free chocolate.

Claire shows Jack a music box that Christian especially wanted her to have. She asks what it means and Jack says he doesn't know. Claire asked how Christian died and Jack tells her he drank himself to death in Sydney. He figures out they were both on flight 815. The music box is nondescript. Of course, Jack didn't check it for a false bottom. Duh. Jack asks Claire to come stay with him because they're family. She likes hearing that.

On the island the suspenseful music is still playing. That is one worn out orchestra, let me tell you. Sawyer makes a plan and asks Jack if he has his back and does a big obvious *WINK* *WINK*. that was so subtle, Sawyer. They all run like a bunch of doofuses when they're carrying guns. Sawyer's in the sub with Lepedis. He quickly disarms some geeky goon and then tells Lepedis to point his gun at the captain. The captain looks all confused. He was just hanging out, looking through his periscope and suddenly there's massive B.O. and guns all up in the submarine. Jack knocks DarthLocke into the water. Kate gets shot and it's pretty awesome, but it's only in the shoulder so she'll probably live. Darth Locke crawls back up on the dock and he's pissed because that was his only pair of underwear and now he has to wear wet underwear all day. Sawyer tries to get Claire, but he has to shut the door. Locke tells Claire to calm down and trust him, she doesn't wanna be on the sub. Kate's being all dramatic about her little gunshot wound. Jack looks in his bag for a bandage and finds the bomb. DarthLocke pulled the age old "switch the briefcase" trick and Jack FELL FOR IT.

Jack tells Lepedis to take them to the surface. Sawyer and Jack argue about the bomb and sawyer doesn't listen and rips the wires out. The bomb counts down super fast. Sayid tells Jack he's the one and grabs the bomb and runs. It explodes and chaos breaks out in the sub. Everyone's trying to get out before the sub sinks. Sun's been crushed by a big heavy object. Lepedis is gone. It takes Jin, Sawyer and Jack to move the heavy thing trapping Sun and Sun shouts, " April Fools!" Big heavy thing wasn't pinning her at all. She's apparently melded to the side of the sub. Jack takes Sawyer out of the sub and Jin desperately tries to free Sun. Jack tries to give him an oxygen tank and Jin refuses. Jin and Sun are resigned to their fates. Sad. Jack swims off with lifeless Sawyer. Lots of underwater shots. Sun tries to convine Jin to go but he refuses and continues trying to free her. She begs him to go. He refuses again, and talks to her in Korean because she doesn't seem to understand "No" in English. They kiss. That's right. Don't worry about your infant daughter who will be orphaned and left in the care of your horrible father-in-law. The sub takes an incredibly long time to sink to sad music. Jin and Sun hold hands until they drown. It's uber sad. I can't talk about it. I can only say it totally pwns Titanic any day.

Sideways Locke is leaving the hospital and sees Jin with a huge bouquet of flowers and seems to recognize him. Jack approaches Locke and says goodbye. He tells Locke he went to see his father. Jack told Locke that he crashed a plane with his father inside on his first official flight. Locke tells Jack it was his fault. Anthony's the way he is because of something he did. Jack tells him that it helped to hear that Christian was gone, and tells Locke that Anthony is gone and he needs to let it go. He and Jack cry together. Jack asks Locke to let go first. Locke tells him goodbye. Jack tells John he can help him and says, "I wished you believed me." Locke has a memory. I hope it's the one of his horrible father pushing him out of a skyscraper, because then he could finally let it go.

On the island Jack washes ashore with Sawyer. Hurley and Kate the load stumble up. She starts freaking out and crying all over Jack because Sawyer is looking dead, so it's Jack's turn to be her boyfriend. She asks about Jin and Sun and everybody cries. I mean everybody in the whole world because that was the saddest death ever on this show. Hurley's sobbing and it's breaking my heart. Jack walks back out onto the beach and cries. This time it's justified. Let it out, Jack. Let it all out.

Locke is standing on the dock and tells Claire that the submarine sank. Claire asks if they're all dead and Locke says, "Not all of them" and tells her he's going to finish what he started.

Previews. Next week seems to be about Jacob and man in Black. Maybe we'll finally get the backstory on these brothas. Death count: Sun, Jin, Sayid, Lepedis (I assume), and countless extras. Basically the show is now a bloodbath. And, um, serious Richard deficit again this episode.

Yes, I'm working on it.

I do have a LOST recap this week. It will be late. Tuesday was M's birthday so we were out all night. We did watch it Wednesday night and I intended to work on the recap and put it up yesterday. Remember this from my list on Tuesday?

-I had never been vomited on.

Yeah, I spent yesterday being puked on and cleaning up puke. M was sick again. She's feeling better now, though. I'm not. I'm updating my blog at 3Am. Not because I love you (I really do), but because my allergies have forbidden me to sleep a the moment. I am beating them into submission with benedryl, though. Should be back in sleepyland soon.

I'll try to post the LOST recap today, then I'm going to do a top 10 of the day a la Lauren's blog challenge this week. Maybe I'll even do more than one. GASP.

Oh, and it's May 6th and I've cardio-ed every day of May so far. High Five!

Peace out.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Three years ago today

-I didn't know the words to every song from every Disney Princess movie ever made
-There were no kids' songs on my MP3 player
-I didn't know that Sleeping Beauty's name was Aurora
-I had forgotten how fun it is to play with Play-Doh
-The only thing that would have gotten me out of bed at 2 in the morning would have been a fire.
-I didn't know about great literature like "Bear Snores On" and "Te Amo Bebe, Little One"
-I had never been vomited on
-I had never gotten out of bed super early to make someone chocolate chip pancakes on her birthday.
-I didn't know the inner workings of, and every nook and cranny in, Childrens Hospital.
-I had forgotten the wonder in watching a movie on a movie screen.
-I had forgotten the wonder in looking at the sky and the grass.
-I didn't know what pain was.
-I didn't know what worry was.
-I didn't know what it felt like to be so protective of someone that you would die for them.
-A fun day of shopping would have been a trip to the department stores in the mall. Now it's a trip to Babies R Us, Toys R Us, or the Disney Store.
-The backseat of my car was free of stains, and strangely empty.
-I knew what to do with my hands when I wasn't holding a child. Now I don't.
-I fit in size 4 jeans.
-I would have freaked if I put my hand in my purse or pocket and found a used tissue.
-I never would have left the house with peanut butter in my hair and a dried gummi bear stuck to my butt.
-I had never wiped someone's nose with my shirt.
-I hadn't fingerpainted since kindergarten.
-A quick trip to the grocery really was just a quick trip to the grocery.
-My life was incomplete and voided and I didn't even know it.
-I was riding in the car at 6am, going to meet my daughter.
-Our family became more complete than it ever was before.

Happy Birthday, Sweet Miss M! Mommy loves you!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Urgent post

A dear friend of mine, a friend I've never met in real life, is in desperate need of prayers tonight. Her name is Kim, and she and her husband found out today that their 4 month old son, Tristan, has brain cancer. Please pray for this sweet family, their daughter, and their little fighter. Tristan will have surgery tomorrow to remove part of the tumor on his brain. Treatment will be decided after this surgery. As a mother I cannot imagine the devastation and desperation that they feel. Please remember them tonight and in the coming days as Tristan has a long journey ahead of him.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

News from my world

I'm kinda upset that there's no new LOST tonight. Seriously? What show that I love am I going to make fun of now? See! I'm writing awkward sentences. It's all your fault, LOST void. I guess I could recap Glee, since I love it, too, but it kind of makes fun of itself.

So here's some boring news from my world:

1) My child is potty trained. It's amazing. So much better than diapers. I will just teach our next child (no, I'm not pregnant), to use the potty from the beginning and skip that pesky diaper stage.

2) I finished making some of M's summer clothes and I'm so excited about them. I should have made them in larger sizes so I would have some, too, and we could be twinsies, because she's still too young to realize it's lame to be twinsies with your mom.. I'll try post pictures this week.

3) Last weekend I put all of our winter clothes into storage and broke out the spring/summer wardrobes. So, of course, it's 50 degrees outside today.

4) Our house looks like a bottle of Pepto Bismal exploded in it. M's 3rd birthday party is Saturday and her only request was that her party be "ALL PINK." She wasn't kidding. Everything she picked from plate to streamer to spoon was bright pink.

5) I'm starting a challenge to work out every day for 30 straight days. I work out a lot now, but I have no schedule. So some weeks I'll work out six days a week, some weeks, two days a week. I need to learn to be consistent. Hubs suggested the 30 day challenge because I would be able to see results, and see the benefit of consistency, if I work out 30 days in a row. So starting May 1st, I'm going to try to be active for at least an hour a day, even if it's just taking a walk at the park or playing tag football with our friends. The Hubs is pretty smart. I'm probably going to write a lot about it on my blog, so you people try to keep me accountable.

Hmmm...I'm thinking we may need a LOST post of some sort this week, even if there's no new episode. So let me think on it and see what I can come up with. Have a good, restful evening, my friends.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

LOST recap

Yeah, I'm not even going to type out the recaps anymore. Bad stuff is happening.

I love the look on Locke's face. "Ahhhh....my candidate collection is complete. I'm going to make so much on Ebay." Jack asks if Hurley minds him talking with Locke alone and Hurley tells him no. Jack asks him "Why John Locke?" and DarthLocke says Locke was stupid and Jack was nice enough to bring his body back. Jack asks Locke if DarthLocke was pretending to be Christian (the person. Not a Christ follower, 'cause that he ain't). DarthLocke says yes. Jack asks why and Darth Locke said it was to lead Jack to water. I guess he forgot that there are thunderstorms about 238923847293846 times a day on this island and Jack didn't need to find water. He said he wants to help Jack leave. Locke says that because of the fact that Jacob chose him, he was trapped, but since Jacob is dead they can all leave. Once again, all of the candidates have to leave with him (or die by someone else's hand). DarthLocke says Locke was not a believer, he was a sucker, but his body's mighty comfy! Someone tell me why Locke's head never gets sunburned. Ahhh..the mysteries of LOST.

In the ambulance Ben is giving info to the paramedics on Locke (not DarthLocke but smashed by Desmond's car Locke). Locke gives them Helen's name and tells Ben his name is John. Sun is being wheeled in next to Locke. She starts saying it's him and looking at Locke. So Sun recognizes Locke. Did she have a vision/memory/flashback? You better believe it.

Locke tells Claire to come out of the jungle, because she sucks at hiding and he's humoring her. She asks how he knew she was there and Locke tells her he could smell her from a mile away and even if he couldn't he could see her gigantic matted hair sticking up over the bushes. Locke asks why she was following them and she says because Jacks' her brother. Locke sighs and walks away so Claire and Jack can have their happy reunion moment. Claire tells Jack that it's good to see him. She says it means a lot that he's coming with them. He says he hasn't decided if he is and she says yes he has, he decided the moment he let Locke talk to him, so whether he likes it or not, he's team Locke now. Jack is troubled by this because Jack has only ever been Team Edward before.

Hurley and Sawyer are talking about the sub. Kate's filling Sun in on the sub. Hurley tries to speak in Star Wars to Sawyer and he tells him he's not interested in discussing Ewoks. Can't you see we're in trouble here, Hugo? Claire comes up and hugs Hurley and Hurley tells her she looks great. I spew Sprite out of my nose from laughing so hard.

Police Sawyer is questioning Kate. He asks if she remembers him and she says yes. He says something is trying to bring them together. She asks if he's hitting on her and he says no, it would never work. He's a cop and she's a murderer. She tells him she knows he was in Australia and doesn't want anyone to know. Sawyer almost wets his pants, but I don't know why. They were on the same plane coming back from Australia. Of course she knew he had been in Australia. Miles calls him over, explains the restaurant shoot-out, and shows him footage of Sayid. Sawyer says get him, he's the bad guy.

Kate and Jack are talking about how bad Sayid is now when Glasses strolls into the camp. She asks for Desmond back. She tells her walkie talkie to show them what we're capable of. A rocket or bomb or something crashes into the jungle behind them and Locke doesn't even flinch. That is one powerful walkie talkie. She gives Locke the walkie talkie and tells him to call when they're ready for them to pick him up, and next time they won't miss. Locke smashes the walkie and yells, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT I CAN'T DO!" Wait, that's the old Locke. DarthLocke just looks excited. I understand. I took a toaster apart when I was seven and thought it was the shiz to see how it worked inside.

Claire is signing in to go visit the adoption agency. Of course, cupid Desmond shows up and chats her up. He asks why she's going to an adoption agency alone. He tries to get her to come see his lawyer first. He's kind of freaking her out, and he tries again to get her to meet the lawyer. She finally agrees. His lawyer is Illana! Illana tells Claire they've been looking for her. Weird!

JungleClaire asks Hurley what's going on and Hurley tells her people are trying to kill them again. Locke says they're going to the other island now. Locke asks for Sawyer's help. He sends Sawyer and Kate to get the sailboat. Kate is ecstatic because she loves Sawyer. Jack. Sawyer. She just needs a man, not really picky. Locke summons Sayid and they walk off together. Jack has his "Oh Crap" look on his face. Sawyer tells Jack to get Hurley, Sun, and Lepedis and meet them at the rendezvous point in an hour, and don't bring Claire because we don't want the B.O. in the sub. That's an enclosed space. Locke sends Sayid to kill Desmond. Zombie Sayid goes on his merry way to the well in the woods.

Sayid approaches the well. Des is sitting at the bottom in a pool of water and despair. He asks Sayid what Locke offered him. Sayid says Locke told him he could have Nadia back. Desmond asks what makes Sayid think Locke can bring her back and Sayid says he died and Locke brought him back with his magical Lipton Tea Hot Tub of Awesomeness. Des asks Sayid what he will tell Nadia when she asks what he did to be with her again. Sayid is perplexed. How will he ever describe a pillar of smoke who can turn into a dead person? She won't care that he killed Des. Just another notch in his killing belt.

Sideways Sayid is packing his suitcase and getting ready to leave. He tells Nadia goodbye. She asks what he did and he tells her to stall them. Miles is at the door and holds up his badge. She opens the door. Sayid tries to sneak out the back door and Sawyer trips him with the water hose and arrests him. Sawyer may be the best cop ever. I've never seen anyone use a water hose with that level of skill.

Sawyer and Kate find the boat. Kate asks what they're doing and Sawyer says not going to get Locke. He then compares Lepedis to an extra in a Burt Reynolds movie. BIGGEST LOL OF THE NIGHT! He informs her that they're not bringing Claire back with them and Kate gets all pissy, but there's really nothing she can do about it since she can't drive a boat. Jack and Claire are walking together. Jack asks her why she trusts DarthLocke and she says he didn't abandon her. DarthLocke asks Sun if she's seen Sayid and she gives him the stinkeye. DarthLocke is growing tired of her attitude. DarthLocke runs off to find Sayid, Jack rallies the troops and they run off together. Claire watches and she is mad. Not someone used the last deodorant mad, but someone stole my skull baby mad. Darth finds Sayid and Sayid totally lies about killing Des. You know he didn't do it. Darth and Sayid head back to the group and Jack and his minions run to the dock. They all load up. Claire is pointing a gun at them. I am so distracted by the rattiness of her hair. Seriously, is there a nest of raccoons in there? Kate asks Claire to come with them and she will take her back to Aaron. She tells Claire the only reason she came back was to find her and take her home to Aaron. Claire lowers her gun and boards the boat. Kate takes her gun. Claire says if he finds out they're gone, he's gonna be mad.

Sideways Jack and Sideways Jack's Son are wearing matching suits and entering Illana's office. They are there for the reading of Christian's will. Illana introduces Jack to Claire. She tells Jack that they're siblings. Jack is so shocked he's seriously overacting. The hospital calls and he asks if they can reschedule.

Back on the boat Sawyer is so worried he looks constipated. Kate's relaxing like she's on vacay in the Caymans. Lepedis asks about the plan and after Sawyer tells him he says it's a good idea and goes down to the cabin to scout out for food with Claire and Hurley. Sawyer approaches Jack and tells him he's happy he decided to come along. Jack says leaving the island doesn't feel right. Sawyer says they have pills for that. Jack says they're here because they're supposed to do something and if Locke wants them to leave then maybe he's scared of what happens if they stay. Sawyer tells him to get off the boat. He tells him he can either get off the boat or shut up. Jack apologizes for getting Juliet killed and jumps off the boat. Kate is distressed as she has lost one of her man toys. Saywer tells her that he is her only man toy now and she needs to simmer down.

Sun is in the sideways hospital. Jin is there, asleep and holding her hand. She wakes him up and asks what happened. He tells her she's going to be okay and that the baby is fine. He tells her it's over and they're all going to be okay. Jack walks by the door with David and he's questioning Jack about Claire. He leaves David in the hall to go do surgery on Locke. He notices that the patient is Locke and says he thinks he knows him.

Back on the island Jack makes it back to the beach and DarthLocke approaches him. Darth asks if Sawyer took the boat and Jack says yeah. Jin and Sun are reunited YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!! Hubs just said, "hope they turned the fence off." Werd. The fence was off. Everyone's happy to be back together and cheesy music plays. Lepedis points out that Sun can all of the sudden speak English again. Glasses has them all get on their knees. They drop a bomb on the other island. Jack has lost his hearing. Locke runs up and grabs him right before another bomb goes off. He asks Jack if he's ok and says it's all going to be okay. "You're with me now."


Confusing preview that tells us nothing.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Awesome blog giveaway!

My bloggy friend and idol Lauren makes the cutest headbands to sell in her Busy Bee Shoppe. Go visit her blog and enter her giveaway of a unique headband!

Then read her blog because it's wicked funny and awesome. Also read it because she loves Hunger Games, and you can't go wrong with someone who loves Hunger Games.

Team Peeta!

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Sara tries something new...

So this is the worst allergy season in my part of the country in the last 20 years. That's a freaking long time. Anyway, my sensitive little nose has been in a snit all week long and the last couple of days have been especially bad. I've been taking Sudafed every four hours. Then I went to the cardiologist on Friday and my resting heart rate was 120!! Way too high for someone who works out as much as I do. When I told him I was taking Sudafed he said that's probably the culprit. Pseudophedrine can raise your heart rate. Who knew? Anyway, I had to quit taking it and since then my nose has been so stopped up I can't eat or anything because I can't breathe. So tonight I went to the pharmacy and bought one of these:

Yes, that's a Neti Pot. Usually I'm not for trying new things, especially if said new thing involves pouring warm salty water into one nostril, hoping that it (and anything it dislodges) will flow out the other nostril, but lack of oxygen apparently gives you courage, so I gave it a try.

It. was. awesome. Actually, it was gross, but it worked. The first time I didn't tilt my head forward enough and I gagged. The second time the water was too hot and I set my nose on fire. The third time worked like a charm. I can breathe through my nose now. It's amazing. If you are an allergy sufferer like me, GO BUY one of these NOW. Mine cost $11 at my local CVS and was well worth it. You will not be disappointed. The great thing is it has no medication in it, so I can use it as often as I need to.

I LOVE MY NETI POT.

That is all. I know you were all wondering about my snot, so there you go.

And yes, I created a label for Neti Pot. I just may write about it again someday.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

LOST recap

Just so you know, I'm pretty messed up tonight (thanks, seasonal allergies!). I ended up having to take a mega dose of benedryl, so sorry if my recap is disjointed and has grammatical errors.

Previously on LOST this week. I feel so special. Last week they denied me my recap. Des in the slinky box, Sayid "kidnapping" Desmond. My beloved Richard talking about killing the plane.

Some convention talking about how everyone loves Hurley and Hurley opening chicken stores all over the world and giving his money away. Lurve him. Marvin Candle introducing Hurley as man of the year! YES! My daydreams usually start this way, no lie, complete with dinosaur trophy. Hurley's mom is needling him about girlfriends. She tells him that he needs to hang out with a woman who didn't nurse him. Hurley's mom always brings the lolz! He calls her disgusting and she informs him that he has a date with Rosalita. Then she slaps his face. I love Hurley's mom. She's officially my favorite LOST minor character of all time.

Hurley is putting a flower on Libby's grave on the island. It's pretty sad. He talks to her about how ghosts talk to him, but Libby doesn't. Illana comes to tell Hugo that we're all taking a fun trip to the Black Rock to get some dynamite and Hurley's jazzed. He remembers how explosive his last trip was and is looking forward to some more good, "picking my castmate's flesh out of my hair" time. She asks about Libby and walks away while Hurley's talking about her. What the heck? Ice queen. Hurley hears foreboding voices coming from the crab grass and suddenly Michael appears and tells him he's there to stop Hurley from killing everybody. Michael tells Hurley if they blow up the plane that people will die and it's going to be his fault because people are listening to Hurley now. Jack comes up and breaks it up. No one has a conversation that Jack is not a part of.

Sideways Hurley has been stood up by Rosalita at a Tex Mex restaurant. Mmmm....I really want some salsa now. Suddenly Libby walks up. He tells her she's pretty. She tells him she's not Rosalita and he's bummed. She reveals that she saw him in a Desmond/Charlie near death vision. The bad senator from X-Men comes and retrieves Libby. She tells him that she meant everything she said. They're soul mates. She's getting in the booby hatch van to Santa Rosa Mental Health Institute. He smiles an "aw shucks" half smile. Poor Hurley. Nothing like finding out that the person you love is a few cards short of a deck.

Hurley tries convince Illana that they shouldn't blow up the plane. He's pretty hilarious in his conversation. Richard looks confused, because Jin's not there to look confused, so someone has to look confused. Illana shockingly blows herself up trying to prove how responsible she is with dynamite. Seriously. My face was like this D: . One minute Illana is calling Hurley and Moron and then she's just gone in a flash of light and puff of smoke. At least she's with her beloved Jacob now. I'm kind of bummed, because Illana was playing the part of someone with a gigantic stick up their butt. Now someone else is going to have to take on that role. No worries. Jack was standing nearby and I'm sure he will attack that role with fervor. Bonus for the beach people. They don't have to bury her, so they won't lose any time.

Locke is whittling wood and Sawyer asks if he talks to wood now. Locke says, "That's what she said." and they both laugh uproariously over a couple of beers. Kate asks what they're waiting for and Locke waves his huge knife in Kate's face and tells her to stop being such a killjoy. Sayid shows up and leads Locke to loopy, but still beautiful, Desmond.

Hurley walks up to a hut on the beach...whose hut? Illana maybe? He finds a bag (Jacob's ashes??) and closes it. Then he takes it, because if someone blows themselves up on the beach it's finders keepers when looting their hut. Richard is flailing around and says they should go for more dynamite. Richard has been doing a lot of flailing lately. I hope he's feeling okay. He seems to have lost control of his arms. Jack's trying to be the boss. I told you he'd take possession of Illana's stick. Hurley tells them to go get the dynamite, Richard's right. Everyone says, "Duuuuuurrrr, okay Hurley, whatever you say! We're stoopid by the way."

Sideways Hurley walks into one of his restaurants and orders a bucket of chicken. The cashier says something about the size of the chicken bucket and Hurley grabs his throat and yells, "Lay off me, I'm starving!" Who's staring at him from the soda machine? It's DES! I love Sideways Des so much. He's sexy and wears metrosexual shirts. Des comments on Hurley's large amount of chicken. Hurley explains about Libby and Desmond asks him if she believed her. Hurley said yes. Des is intrigued. He tells Hurley to go with his gut and try to find out where she thinks she knows him from before he gives up on her. Sideways Des is cupid. He needs wings, a diaper, and bow and arrows.

Locke squats down in front of Desmond, who has been tied to a tree by Sayid. Desmond assures Locke he won't run away and Locke cuts his ropes. Locke asks why Des is back at the island. Des explains about the slinky box. Locke asks if Des knows who he is and Des says he's John Locke. Locke takes a walk with Des (ummmm...serioulsy jealous of Locke right now). Ben is being philosophical about Illana's death and wonders what will happen to them when the island is done with them. They're back at the Black Rock now. Richard says he's going in alone. Suddenly Hurley comes running from the Black Rock and the whole ship goes up in a big shebang. Richard is going to tear him up. Richard asks why he did it and Hurley said he's protecting them. Okay, sidenote...HOW DID HURLEY BEAT THESE PEOPLE TO THE BLACK ROCK?! He's not the fastest person by any means. Really?? This and the Hot Pocket thing from last season are just asking me to suspend reality too much. A magical island that entraps people? Sure. Two entities arguing over whether people are inherently good or bad? Sure. One of those entities can turn into a pillar of smoke and bust out the Kung Fu? Sure? Hurley running faster than Richard? NOT POSSIBLE. Moving on.

Everybody's yelling at Hurley. Miles says a warning would be nice, and Hurley points out that he told them to run. He tells Miles about Michael. Miles and Hurley build some camaraderie over the whole dead people talking to them link. Hurley says that dead people are more reliable than alive people.

Hurley's at the mental institution asking to see Libby and the watery senator from X-Men denies him access. Burn! He says that Libby has issues with reality. Hurley writes dude a check to improve the rec room. Everyone's having fun in the new rec room and Hurley finally gets to see Libby. She looks so pretty. Crazy suits her. He asks her to tell him her story. She tells him about seeing him on the TV and memories of him, in another life. She tells about the crash and the island. She then tells him that she's been here (in the hospital) before and she thinks he's been there, too. She asks if he remembers her and he tells her no and apologizes. He lets her know he's not put off by her insanity. He asks her about leaving the hospital. He asks her out on a date, and she says yes. Awwwwww.

Did Locke and Co. not hear the explosion? Because it had to be pretty loud. Desmond tells Locke that the island has it in for all of them. The creepy boy is back. Locke tells Des to ignore him and boy smiles a creepy smile at Desmond before running away. Richard's still freaking out. Hurley tells Richard that Jacob says they should go talk to Locke. Richard tells Hurley to ask Jacob what the island is. Hurley walks up and tells Richard that he has nothing to prove to him and he can either come with him or stay and blow stuff up. Richard tells them that if Locke leaves the island everything is over. Ben volunteers to go with Richard. Miles goes too. Good old Lepedis, Jack, and Sun say they're going with Hurley. Richard is bumfuddled and tells them to stay out of his way.

Hurley's leading everyone through the jungle with torches. Sun asks Lepedis if they made a mistake following Hurley and Lepedis says probably. Hurley asks how to talk to a smoke monster. He tells Jack he didn't see Jacob. Jack says he knows and it's hard for him to sit back and let other people tell him what to do. Yeah, Jack. None of us could tell that you were having authority issues. Thanks for the explanation, Captain Obvious. Jack tells Hurley that he trusts him. Whispers in the woods and Hurley says he knows what they are and goes stumbling off in the woods. He finds Michael on the trail and asks Michael if he's stuck on the island and Michael says yes, because of what he did. Michael says there are others, the ones who can't move on. Hurley asks if he can help Michael and Michael tells him to stay alive. He also asks Hurley to tell Libby he's sorry if he ever sees her again.

Hurley and Libby are on the beach enjoying some cheese, because everybody likes cheese, right Hurley? Libby is staring at the ocean. She says being on the beach with Hurley seems familiar, like they're on a date they never had. She asks why he wants to be with her and he asks her the same question. She says she wants to be with him because she likes him. Libby kisses him and Hurley has memories. YAY! Chick's just happy that she's not crazy. Desmond is watching from a distance and drives off in his new, not seawater soaked car.

Locke and Des come out to an abandoned well in the middle of nowhere. There should be a lid on that well. If we learned anything from the 80's, it's that you cover up your backyard well. Locke drops a torch down in the well to show him how deep it is. Locke says the well was dug by hand. He said people were looking for electromagnetism. Locke explains that Charles is only interested in power and he wants Des here to help him find what he's looking for. Des calls Locke on his bullcrap. Locke asks why he isn't afraid. Des asks what the point is in being afraid. Locke smiles, grimaces and throws Desmond down the well. OH MY WORD. I am about to bust Locke's butt. He is definitely evil. Sawyer asked where he's been, but stops mid sentence because he sees Hurley coming into the camp. Hurley confronts Locke and asks to talk to him. Hurley tells him that no one is going to hurt or kill anyone. Locke gives Hurley his knife and his word that nothing will go down. Lepedis, Sun, and Jack emerge from the woods. Sun looks hopeful, but sees no sign of Jin. Locke greets Jack and gives him sinister eyeball and I'm pretty sure Jack wets his pants.

Sideways Des is watching wheelchair Locke. Ben knocks on his window and questions him about his purpose, being that he's been at the school staring at kids all day. Des said he's looking for a school for his son, Charlie. Ben sends him on his way. Des takes off and hits Locke in his wheelchair and keeps going.

Previews, Des is alive in the well, creepy music, explosions, lots of guns and something that looks like Sayid shooting Des in the well.

Well, we know what the whispers are now! Insights in the comments.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

LOST recap

Desmond eyeball. They're waking Des up in the sub infirmary. Glasses is talking to him and he gives her the stinkeye. Why does everyone on this show, even the civilized ones, look like they reek of B.O.? Except for Richard. He smells like rainbows and marshmallows. Glasses (I know she has a name, but I'm past the point of bothering to learn these people's names) says she's not a nurse and he asks for Penny. Charles comes out and Desmond freaks, naturally. I just realized there are three people on this show named Charles. The secret ending is that everyone is the same person! Charlie assures Desmond that Penny and little Charlie are fine, except that they're probably freaking out because Des just vanished from the hospital, stupid. Charles reveals that Desmond is on the island. Des' face starts twitching like crazy and he attacks Charles with an IV pole. Desmond screams in agony. Jin asks why Desmond is there and Charles tells glasses to take them to another room and start the test. Glasses protests, but Widmore says, "Get in your place, woman! And make me a sandwich!" Patton Oswald stunt guy is freaking out because Jin scares the poopy out of him. When he finds out that Desmond is coming he freaks out more. He must have heard about Des' mad IV pole skills. Patton Oswald stuntman sends a man into the generator. Everyone holds their breath. Some guy doesn't make sure that the big slinky room was empty and red shirt number 93093094857290934587 on the island gets fried. Desmond sees the crispified man and freaks out some more.

They cover him with a sheet and Charles tells him to take the guy away because he's medium rare and Charles likes his extras well done. They drag Desmond inside and strap him to a chair between the giant slinkies. Charles asks Desmond to make a sacrifice. He says if Des doesn't participate everyone will disappear. Probably in a puff of black smoke. HAHA! Jin tries to talk, but Charles tells him to shut up and Jin looks confused. Yay for continuity! They turn on the machine and everyone looks like they need some new pants. Charles throws the slinky switch. Desmond is going nuts and rightfully so. He collapsed in a flash of light. I hate them. Now we're floating sideways through the clouds. Desmond is in the airport staring at the flight board, because that's what you do at an airport to fit in. Hurley tells him the luggage is on carousel four. Desmond helps Claire with her suitcase and asks her what her baby is. He sees his bag and then walks out with Claire. He offers her a ride. Des is into pregnant chicks. Des tells Claire she's having a boy because he's awesomepsychic. Desmond's driver, George*, picks him up at the airport and offers to take Des to his hotel and Des says, "Heck no! Take me to the office. Des only sleeps once a week and when he does sleep he sleeps sitting up in a chair." The guy offers to find Desmond some companionship and he tells the guy to get out of his face. Des goes to see his boss. Charles Widmore. He's the DEBIL! They're friends.

Des is staring at a toy sailboat on Charles' wall. Charles yells at someone on the phone. Charles says his son is a musician and in a band called Driveshaft. Crazy. Charles offers Des a drink of his fancy scotch that he once told Des he wasn't good enough to drink and Des said, "Heck yes, I'll drink it! I am THE AWESOME!" Des goes to bail out Charlie. Charlie walks away like some rebellious teenager. He jaywalks right in front of the police station and none of the police officers do anything about it. They go into the bar and get a drink. Charlie starts badmouthing Des and Des tells him to shut his mouth. You do not talk to The Awesome like that. Charlie asks Des if he's been in love before. Charlie says he saw love on the plane back from Sydney. Des asks him to explain it. Charlie describes seeing Claire and how beautiful she was. Des calls him a poet and tells him to write a song about it, then he tells him he has a choice, be a loser, or go hang out in Charles' super posh hotel suite. He tells Desmond he doesn't really have a choice and Des says there's always a choice. They drive around to "You All Everybody" and for a second the camera focuses on random guy walking down the beach. For a second I think he's significant, but he's not. Oh wait, Charlie drives them off the pier because he's S-M-R-T smart. Des tries to free Charlie but can't get his belt free. He swims up for air and dives back down because he's the hero in this saga, you'd better believe it. Charlie puts his hand on the window and for a split second, Desmond REMEMBERS the "Not Penny's Boat" scene. HOLY MOLY! That gave me chills. Charlie gives Desmond a Locke-worthy creeptastic smile and then goes back to being a drowned man. Des pulls Charlie to the surface and calls for help.

An ER doc is checking Desmond over and asks him about hallucinations and he thinks, "Oh cripes! She knows I saw creepy Charlie hand!" She sends him for an MRI. Sideways Desmond has no friends or family. Bless his little hero heart. Technician gives him a panic button. They put him in the tube. I've had an MRI before and let me tell you, they suck. That's not a clinical term. In the MRI Des starts seeing his sidways past/future life with Penny. It disappears and he freaks. Des is looking for Charlie. The nurse is not being helpful, so Des asks Jack to help him. He doesn't need help, though, because Charlie is running down the hall in nothing but a hospital gown. Run, Charlie! Run! At least he's in L.A. and it's not cold outside. Des asks Charlie about Penny and Charlie says, "You felt it, didn't you?" Charlie leaves, but tells Desmond he'd better find Penny. So do near-death experiences bring back memories of the island? Coooooool. So now that Charlie's "seen" Claire, it seems he's deeply driven to find her.

Desmond tells Charles that Charlie escaped and he's being a meanie pants to Des and tells Des to tell Mrs. Widmore (Eloise I'm guessing?) that it's only a bloody concert. Desmond goes to find her to tell her that because he's the man. Eloise is Charles' wife. YES! And she's blathering on and on about butter knives or something. She seems surprised to see Desmond, but covers nicely. Des explains that Charlie ran away from the hospital in a backless gown. He says he takes full responsibility and she tells him not to worry about it. She forgot to be a wench because Desmond is so hot. He sexed the meanness right out of her. Desmond hears some people talking about Penny and Eloise takes the list from him. She tells him to shut up. She's going to give him the what for. She tells him to STOP doing whatever it is he's doing. He asks if she knows what he's looking for. He asks to see the list and she tells him that he's not ready yet. Des asks George if there's any alcohol in the car. Daniel comes up and knocks on the window. I love how they try to make it look mysterious "who is that?" I'd recognize Daniel anywhere, even if he is wearing a hat. Daniel tells Desmond that they need to talk.

They get out to walk and Daniel is still in his skinny tie. Daniel asks Des if he believes in love at first sight. He describes Charlotte. They basically have the same discussion as Charlie. Daniel shows Desmond his journal. he's written quantumn mechanics and he's just a musician right now. He describes the equation and Daniel asks, what if this wasn't supposed to be our life, what if something changed everything. He tells Des he doesn't want to set off a nuclear bomb. He thinks he already did. Des brushes him off and Daniel asks about Penny. Daniel asks what he saw/felt. Desmond says he doesn't know and Daniel tells him that he felt love. Des says Penny is just an idea and Daniel says no, Penny's his half sister and tells Des where to find her. Penny is running bleachers in a ginourmous stadium. Des follows her like a creepy stalker and catches her at the bottom of the stairs. He introduces himself and says hello and holds out his hand to shake hers. Suddenly we're back in the slinky box and Des is looking a little red. Charles looks proud of his boy as Glasses tries to blind him with a pen light, because she's a stinky scientist, not a doctor. Des asks how long he was unconcious and Charles says a few seconds. Charles tries to explain and Des says it's alright, he understands. He asks when they start the very important mission. Glasses and Des are walking through the jungle and Glasses wants to know why he's not acting like a psycho anymore. Sayid takes everyone out except Glasses. He must have a problem with shooting women. He points a gun at her and tells her run. He asks Desmond to come with him and Desmond complies like the good little boy he is. He seems so happy, like Charles slipped him some Zoloft or maybe some pot brownies. Now we're back in the stadium where Desmond has fainted after shaking Penny's hand. She asks if they've met before, makes sure he's alright and tries to run off, ponytail bouncing. He stops her and asks her out for coffee. She says no because she stinks. Thankfully someone on this show finally worries about the stank. She sets up a time and a place. He goes back to the limo. George asks if Des found what he was looking for. He offers to whatever Des needs. Des asks George to get 815 manifest. George asks why and Des says he needs to show them something.

I liked this episode. Plenty of Des, a little Daniel. It needed more Richard, though. And less Jack.

*George worked on the freighter. He tried to travel to the island from the freighter and ended up dying from time jumps because he did not have a constant. He's the one who took Des to the control room on the freighter to contact Penny, before it blew up.

Hurley next week! He's talking about how talking to dead people sucks and tells Jack to trust him. Oh, Jack. You and your trust issues.