Insomnia

I have insomnia. All the time. At least once a week. It really stinks. Sometimes people ask me why I don't just use that time to get things done. It's because I'm too angry. I really love my sleep. I think sleep is sacred and holy and wonderful and it makes me very angry when I can't sleep. Even moreso now that I have a child and I can't take naps during the day. Someone asked me the other day what it's like to have insomnia. I think everyone's experience is probably different, but here's what it's like for me.

9:00 - I start my bedtime routine. Yes, like a baby has a bedtime routine. I have one, too, per order of my doctor. All lamps but one go off in the living room, my computer goes off, tv goes off. I read or crochet, nothing involving bright lights.

9:45 - I brush my teeth, put on my pajamas, all that jazz.

9:55 - I do two Sudoku puzzles. I don't know why, but I can't sleep if I haven't done two of them.

10:15 - Go to bed. No reading, TV, or keeping my lamp on. Dark, quiet, cool.

Most nights this works. The nights it doesn't work, it goes something like this:

10:15

Brain says: "I won't go to sleep! You can't make me! Think of stressful things! THINK OF STRESSFUL THINGS!!"

Me: "Noooooooooooooooooooo! Go to sleep!"

Brain: "You're not my mom! I refuse to go to sleep!"

Ear: "I can hear everything within a 10 mile radius! Hooray! Brain! Stay awake and listen to my sounds!"

Brain: "Suh-weet!"

Me: "GO TO SLEEP"

Brain and Ear: "NO!"

Bird: " It's nighttime, but I'm going to sit outside your window and sing like it's daytime! LALALALALALALALALALALALALALA!"

Crazy Neighbor Dog: "OH MY WORD! THERE'S A BIRD! A BIRD! A BIRD! BIRDBIRDBIRDBIRDBIRDBIRDBIRD!"

Nyquil: "Take as much of me as you want. I'm not helping you sleep tonight!"

Neighbor Truck: "I'm a ridiculously loud piece of machinery. I shouldn't even exist because my noise is so obnoxious. That doesn't stop my owner from idling me in his driveway for 30 minutes at 2am then roaring off down the street like we're on the way to a fire or something."

Fire Truck: "I am on my way to a fire! WEOOWEOOOWEOOOWEOOOOWEOOO!"

Hubs' nose: "whistlewhistlewhistleSNOREwhistlewhistlewhistleSNORE"

Me:
3:00 am Everything is quiet. I start to doze.

Brain: "Did you remember to unplug your flat iron?"

4:00am I finally fall into an uneasy, not restful sleep.

7:00 am M wakes up.

Me the next day:

The point of this post? There's really not one. Just enjoy your sleep. And think of me and my pathetic unsleepy brain while you're wandering around in sugarplum land.

Recipe time!

Peanut butter pie. Mmmmmmmmmmm. I love peanut butter. I love pies. So peanut butter pie sounds like a win to me. Here we go. You'll need:

8oz cream cheese (softened)
1 1/4 c powdered sugar
1 cup peanut butter
1 T evaporated milk
1 tsp vanilla
2 cartons of Cool Whip (yeah, baby)
1 graham cracker or Oreo pie crust
1 package Reeses' cups

First you want to blend your cream cheese and powdered sugar until it's smooth. DON'T turn on your mixer full blast, or you'll end up with a powdered sugar fail, as demonstrated in this photo:

When your powdered sugar and cream cheese are smooth, add peanut butter. I love how smooth the peanut butter top is when you open a new jar.

Add your evaporated milk and vanilla at this stage. Once again, mix until smooth. Now comes the good part. Crack open one of those Cool Whip cartons and dump the whole thing in. Mix until you have this:

YUM. Pour this filling into your pie crust (we prefer Oreo crust, but we had a guest over tonight who doesn't like chocolate so I used a graham crust). Open your second container of Cool Whip and cover the pie with it. Chop the Reeses cups and sprinkle them on top.* Cover and refrigerate.

Seriously. best. dessert. ever.

*Tip, freeze your Reeses cups while you prepare the pie. By the time you're ready to chop them they'll have stiffened up a bit and will be less likely to melt as you're chopping them.

Let me know if you try and like the recipe. Bon appetit, my friends!

Sara Rants and Raves

So I know it's been awhile since I posted. Sorry. I decided to take a little hiatus after LOST took it's permanent hiatus. We also had a death in the family, a week and a half vacation, and we're getting our house ready to go on the market. Squee! I love a new house! I'll be posting more from now on.

PETTY RANT - I hate going to the dentist. Let me re-word that so it's easier to understand. I would rather let Secretariat stomp on my face that go to the dentist. I hate it. I have very good teeth. They are straight, and I've never had braces or even a retainer. They are clean because I'm terrified of having bad breath, so I floss and brush regularly like a good little girl. My cleanings are always a breeze and take no time. The hygentist raves about my teeth and how I take such good care of them. I had an appointment today. Everything went swimmingly, then the dentist walked in. He did the dentist thing, where he told me to open my mouth, touched to of my teeth with his scrapy thing and said, "You need to floss more." Are you serious? I floss EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. Sometimes twice a day if I eat something stringy like celery. Are dentists just required to say that to everyone? Because it offended me. I know it's petty, but there it is. Dear Dentist: I already floss every day. Find something new to say.

RAVE - So Hubs and I took M to see Despicable Me this weekend. GO SEE IT! It's wonderful. Not only did it solidify my desire to have minions (who knew minions were so cute?!), but it had plenty to keep us entertained, and plenty to keep M entertained. I don't want to give the movie away, but I will share Hubs' favorite line with you, "I said DART gun, not FART gun!" Comic GOLD!

Parting notes: I feel like LOST created a vacuum and I should be writing a review of something occasionally. Any suggestions? Thanks for still reading, if you're still reading. Sorry I was MIA for so long.