Monday, May 24, 2010

Last LOST recap EVER

*Sigh* It's over. I'm not going to do my normal play-by-play. I would love to, but you have to understand that it would be the longest blog post ever. It was the longest finale ever. So I'm just going to touch on some finer points of the show and we can discuss in the comments, or continue scratching our heads. Observations from the show:

-Previously on LOST, really? They just did a giant clip show from the beginning of the series to the last episode. They could have put that 50 seconds to better use.

-When Sawyer snuck up on Darth and Ben to spy on them at the well, did he seriously pick the smallest, scraggliest bush on the island to hide behind? Because that was a tiny bush, and it was, like, 3 feet from them. Sawyer's got some rough edges when it comes to being sneaky.

-It wouldn't have been a LOST episode without someone hitting Ben in the face with the butt of a gun, so well done, writers.

-My heart almost burst when I saw Vincent, Rose, and Bernard. For real, I love them all so much, and I worried that they would be one of the unanswered questions.

-I almost laughed out loud when Kate and Jack declared their love for each other. In fact, Hubs and I had to rewatch that part because we were too busy making up our own dialogue for that section.

-Hurley shooting Charlie in the back with a tranquilizer dart made my day. I lol-ed.

-I loved Ben in this episode. LOVED him.

-I don't usually laugh at anything involving Kate, unless she's getting punched or knocked down, but I laughed when she pointed out the obvious symbolism of Christian Shepherd's name.

-I laughed like a loon at two parts: The part where Locke "remembers" and they show him with the orange in his mouth. Locke was always a creepster, even when he was just normal Locke; and the part after he remembers and is giggling at Jack.

-Did any other Star Trek lovers think of the scene with Spock in "Wrath of Khan" when Desmond was turning off the light (or Jack was turning it on)?

-I jumped in the air and yelled "YEAH, BABY!" when we realized that Richard survived his trip into the trees, courtesy of the smoke monster. Hubs and I have been arguing about whether he was dead or not all week long.

-Daniel's fedora is his new skinny tie. He's worn it in every episode he's been in lately. I did something unheard of last night and stayed up to watch Jimmy Kimmel (usually waaay too late for me) and Daniel was wearing the SAME hat. I think it may be stuck to his head.

Okay. Onto what I think. I was furious last night. And disappointed. It took sleeping on it for awhile for me to come around a little bit. I am happy with the ending. I'm glad that they all get to be together. It would make sense that the relationships they forged on the island would be the most important in their lives. I thought the "going to heaven all together" thing was a bit contrived, but, hey, they made it to the end and we got to see them all whole and together, so I guess that makes me happy. They all got some form of redemption that they had been seeking, and became better people as opposed to their early, self-absorbed selves. Oh, but sorry David. You were just a figment of your dad's imagination. I'm sorry I kind of got into your story line because it didn't mean anything.

Questions I wish they would have answered. I know they said they wouldn't answer all the questions, and it's better that way. I just wish they would have answered a few of the big questions:

-Explain the light. I know Jacob eluded to its purpose, but he didn't explain it, nor why it was so important to protect. And it it seriously kept in place by a rock cork? You'd think the island protectors would have made it a little more foolproof.

-Explain the numbers. What are they exactly? Why do they show up EVERYWHERE? Why are they unlucky? Are they coordinates? The combination to Jacob's bus locker?

-I know this one is minor, but what was the Smoke Monster's name? Because we only know him as Smoke Monster, and if Allison Janney mom really named him that, what was she expecting? It's like naming your child Adolf and being surprised that he turns out to be a bully.

-Why did all of the women suddenly have bangs in season four?

-Why didn't Daniel, Miles, Lapidus, Richard, Eko, or Walt appear in the afterlife? Was it for couples and Hurley only?? I know Ben was resolving some things before he went into the church (waiting for Alex, and to apologize to Danielle, perhaps?), but where were those people? Michael said on Jimmy Kimmel that Michael was not there because he's forever stuck on the island, whispering. Bummer.

All in all, I guess I'm satisfied. I don't know what I was expecting. That wasn't it, but it wasn't terrible. The producers always said that the show was more about the characters than the mystery, but I wish they would have answered a few more questions.

What about you, what did you think?

Sunday, May 23, 2010

My initial reaction to the LOST finale


I will do a LOST post this week...BUT you'll have to wait for it. Because I'm not going to write as I watch the show, like I usually do. I'll rewatch the show in the next couple of days and write my review then. I want to just watch tonight. :)

Happy viewing!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

LOST recap

Previews - everybody dies, everybody else cries

We see Jack's eyeball, just like in the series pilot! Apparently Jack got attacked by a vampire in the night because his neck is gushing blood. David walks in and tells him he made breakfast. A bowl of cereal. Claire comes in the room and David offers her some cereal. She looks happy to be eating Super Bran. Anything to get the bowels moving in late pregnancy will make you happy, tu-rust me. Oceanic calls to let Jack know they found the coffin. It's really Desmond playing "island cupid" again. Jack's on the beach working on Kate's bullet wound. He tells her it's going to hurt and she just needs to man up. He sews her up and it's gross. Kate tells Jack that Sun and Jin have a little girl. She says they have to kill him and Jack says, "I know." LOST

Stuff from the sub starts washing up on the beach. Sawyer's watching it and he's P.I.S.S.E.D. I am, too. Who litters up a beach like that for the sake of the TV show? Rude LOST producers, that's who. Kate runs up and starts pawing all over Sawyer. Hurley looks on in disbelief, because he's never seen such a hoochie in his life. Jack comes in and declares himself leader again and tells them to stop being melancholy, because we're about to go free the life of the party from the well!!

Desmond is watching Locke return to school. Ben tells him to stop and Desmond beats the stuff out of him. Desmond don't take no lip off of NOBODY! Ben has a flashback-sideways, etc. Ben, Richard, and Miles are walking through the woods, looking for Dharma camp. Ben tells them he has some awesome bottlerockets back at his place and they're going to go get drunk and shoot them off. Miles suddenly hears a dead person. Ben tells him to cut the crap. Richard tells Ben it's Alex, that he buried her there. Ben thanks Richard and walks away. They enter his house and start looking for his C4 collection. No one raided Ben's safe. They take all the C4 because, like the Mythbusters, if you're going to blow something up, you'd better do it right. Annoying glasses lady is sneaking around in Ben's house and then Widmore walks in.

Charles helps himself to a glass of water because he's the world's wost houseguest. Charles tells Glasses to leave. I can't stand that dweeb, so I'm glad she's gone. Charles tells him that Jacob came to see him after the freighter was destroyed and told him how to take care of Locke. Charles tells Ben they need to hide.

The school nurse is treating Ben's cuts. Locke comes in to check on him. Ben tells him he was trying to take out the man who ran him down. Locke pulls out his phone to call the police. Ben tells Locke that Des wasn't trying to hurt him. He was trying to get Locke to let go and Ben believes him. Locke is perplexed. Des walks into the police office and asks to speak to a detective. Miles is getting ready to go something with his dad. They bring Des to see Sawyer, because Sawyer is currently the only detective in L.A., and Des tells him that he ran Locke down and beat the stuffing out of Des. Sawyer thanks him for turning himself in because he'll have time to meet his buddies for a game of Parcheesi tonight instead of chasing down rogue Desmonds. Des is locked up with Sayid and Kate and looks very pleased with himself.

Jack and Sawyer are tromping through the jungle. Sawyer and Jack are questioning Locke's motives and his imprisoning of Desmond. Sawyer asks if he killed Jin and Sun and Jack tells him no, Darth Locke killed them. My poor, heartbroken Sawyer. Hurley and Kate eye each other in the woods. Hurley stops because he sees something and hears and elephants braying in the distance. Young Jacob asks Hurley for the ashes and runs away. Hurley can run pretty fast, but not fast enough to catch a jungle kid. C'mon, Hurley. Hurley comes up to grown-up Jacob in the woods, holding his bag of ashes. Jacob tells him that his ashes are in the campfire and when it burns out, he'll never see him again. He tells Hurley we're getting near the end. DUM DUM DUUUUUUUUUM

Darth Locke steps onto the dock and glares at the luggage. I know, Dlocke. It's rude to just junk up the dock with your luggage. Lazy frackin' islanders. Ben is waiting for Darth Locke. Miles wants to run. He gives Miles a walkie talkie, then Richard decides he wants to be the martyr. Miles runs away. Richard and Ben emerge and go out to talk to Smokey. Smokey attacks Richard and Ben's thinking maybe his idea wasn't so stellar after all and sits down to think about his life. Dlocke emerges and says he wants to talk to Ben. Ben offers him some lemonade. Locke sits down with his knife and starts trimming his nails. Dlocke asks him to kill some people for him and says Ben can have the island to himself. Ben says, "sure! Do you want me to water your houseplants while I'm at it, buddy?" Locke asks whose boat it is and Ben tells him and also tells Locke that Charles is hiding in his closet.

Sideways Ben drops his keys and teenage jailbait Alex picks up the keys for him and asks Ben to let she and her mom drive him home. Of course Danielle says yes. She's very thankful. And pretty beautiful when she doesn't have jungle hair and thirteen years of visible B.O. clinging to her body. Danielle's mom says he'll have dinner with them or she'll kidnap him. Guffaws all around. Ben is pretty smitten with Danielle. Danielle tells Ben that Alex sees him as a father. Ben thinks that's the shiz and is very happy. Alex studies in the corner. Ben starts crying and blames it on the onions. It's lurve, y'all.

Ben and Locke enter his house and go to look for Charles. He opens the bookcase. Locke tells him to leave and Ben says he wants to see it. Ben apologizes to Charles. He's totally going to off Glasses. Yup, slit her throat. Charles is upset. That was the only smart-looking minion he had. Locke tells Charles when he leaves, he's gonna kill Penny. Charles can stop it if he just tells him why he can come back. Charles explains that he brought Des back because he can withstand high doses of electromagnetism. No one understands what this mean, so they decide to whisper instead of explaining that one to us. Ben blows Charles away and says he doesn't get to save his daughter. Locke is pleased. and cleans his knife. Ben is now a zombie of some sorts. Ben asks who else he needs to kill. Kate! Kate! Kate! Oh, and Darth Locke because he totally wrinkled Richard's shirt when he slammed him into that tree. Not cool!

Hurley brings the woodsie's to see Jacob. Everybody's like, "WHOA!" and Hurley's all "See, I'm not a crazy person!" Hurley's surprised they all can see him. Kate asks if everyone's dead because their names are written on the wall. Jacob apologizes. She asked if they died for nothing. Jacob invites them to sit down while he spins a yarn about an island, some people, and a funny poof of smoke. They all toast Essence of Jacob smore's and play Truth or Dare for a few hours. Sawyer suggests that they put their food in the tree so it doesn't attract polar bears. Hurley freezes Jack's bra. Jacob also reveals that he's picking a new island protector tonight and they're all contestants! Kate's upset because she knows she'll only win if it's a "taking off your shirt" contest.

Wheelchair Locke comes in to see Jack and Surgeon Jack is thrilled. Locke asks about David and Jack asks him what he's doing there. Locke tells him that they were on the same plane from Sydney, and then he was hit by a car and ends up as Jack's patient. He thinks it's fate. So he wants Jack to fix him now. Jack says, "You are so wishy-washy, Locke. You need to learn to say yes when you mean yes and no when you mean no." Locke says it all happened for a reason and he thinks maybe Jack needs to fix him. He puts himself up as a candidate for surgery. Jack smiles at him, because nothing makes Jack smile like flaying some poor dude's back open.

Jacob tells him that he brought them there for selfish reasons. Jacob says that he's responsible for the smoke monster, he made him that way, and then the smoke monster killed him. Sawyer asked him what gives him the right. Jacob tells Sawyer to shut his fool mouth, he's a loser, and will not win Island Leader contest. He says he chose them because they were alone. Kate asks why her name was crossed out and Jacob says because she came a mother. Jack asks what the job is and Jacob tells them about the light and that they have to protect the light from Barney. They also have to pick litter up off the beach after a hurricane. Jack asks if they should kill Smokey and Jacob looks at him with sad face. Hurley asks who wins the tribal council. Jacob tells him that they have a choice. Kate asks what happens if none of them choose and Jacob says it will end badly. Jack takes the responsibility and the world is shocked, not. Jacob's proud of his boy. Sawyer's pissed because Jack raised his hand before Sawyer could. Hurley's relieved that he still has no responsibility in life. Kate's trying to decide who she should flirt with next and wonders if DarthLocke likes brunettes.

Walking through the jungle again. So much walking through the woods. Sawyer makes a God-complex joke and we all laugh. Jacob tells him to go to the bamboo and the light and that he needs to go protect it. Jacob scoops up some creekwater and does the incantation. Then he gives it to Jack to drink. Jacks thinking, "This water isn't purified or anything. I hope this isn't the creek we pee in." Jack asks how long he needs to do this job, because he has a teeth cleaning scheduled for next Tuesday. Little late to be asking about that. Should have asked in the interview phase. Jacob says as long as you can and Jack drains the cup. Jacob is totally about to make out with Jack. He tells Jack now he's like Jacob. A whiny little girl. Jack was already a whiny little girl, Jacob. Where have you been? Oh yeah, dead in a fire.

Sawyer let's Kate and Sayid out of jail. Kate tries to work her wiles on him, reminding him of how sexy she looked in the elevator at the airport. Sawyer tells her to shut up. BURN! Sayid, Des, and Kate are being transported. Des says he thinks it's time to leave. He says the driver knows where to stop and he has to trust them and promise to do what he says. Sayid promises and Kate promises, and they exchange "check out the crazy guy" smiles. Suddenly the truck stops, doors open and Ana Lucia lets them out at the docks. A Hummer drives up and Hurley steps out. Hurley gives her a big envelope of money. Ana Lucia drives off Hurley gives him keys to a car. Des sends Sayid with Hurley and Kate with himself. He tells Kate they're going to a concert and gives her a little black dress, asking her with a sigh to try not to be such a harlot tonight.

Ben asks Locke why he walks instead of turning into smoke. Locke says he likes the feel of the ground under his feet. It reminds him that he used to be human. They're at Desmond's well. They find it empty of Desmond, but full of water. Ben asks what Widmore said to him. Locke says that Desmond is a failsafe, Jacob's last resort. Locke says Jacob/Jackob needs Desmond to destory the island. LOST.

Preview: Creepy lady from Poltergeist reads the preview.

So this episode was good. I liked it. I did not like what Smokey did to Richard, but I'm banking that Richard's not dead yet.

Thoughts in the comments?

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

LOST recap

This episode was so weird and wonderful. I still don't know how I feel about it.

A woman pops up out of the ocean and makes her way to the beach. She's totes huge preggo and shouldn't be hiking through the jungle and climbing on rocks all alone. What is it about this island that sucks in the pregnant women? A woman in a Jesus costume starts speaking to her and offers to help. She gives her food and girl is chowing down. The woman dresses her wounds They start speaking in English all the sudden. Wah?? Floaty woman starts having contractions. Then she delivers the baby by a campfire in a big mudpile, because, you know, that's the most sterile place to birth the baby. The baby is a boy. She names him Jacob. Then she births evil boy who becomes evil man who becomes evil Locke. Those babies hate each other. She only picked one name. Uh, I guess Jake's the fave from the beginning. Jacob's not even crying, but evil baby is tearing it up in the screaming dept. Jesus costume woman bashes Jacob's mom with a rock. She didn't think that one out at. all. How's she going to feed those babies now? Stoopid.

The waves roll in and the waves roll out...sorry, I have baby beluga stuck in my head. Bieber aged evil finds a game of badminton on the beach and Bieber aged Jake asks if he can play. Evil boy says yes, as long as they keep it from mother forever. Bieber Jake goes back to the camp where Evil mama is weaving. Jacob asks to help because he's a good little boy. Always a good little boy. She asks what they were doing at the beach and he lies. She totally guilts him into telling her. Who brought the giant sea turtle to the island? That was not a Jacob sanctioned turtle! Evil mom came to the beach and tells evil boy that he's not as good as Jacob. She tells him he's special. She reveals that she left the game for evilboy to find. Evilmom tells him that there's nothing but the island. He asks about his grandma and they talk about death. Evilboy asks what death is and she tells him it's something he'll never have to worry about.

Jacob and evilboy are chasing a boar through the woods when vikings come up and stab the boar. They gut the boar everybody watches. The boys run home and tell creepmom that someone else is on the island. She tells them that they are here for a reason. She hemhaws around and finally takes them, blindfolded, through the jungle to a weird glowy epicenter of the island. She tells them that she's made it so they can never hurt each other. There's a cavern with light and says that they're here to protect this light. This is turning into a Sci-Fi special. She says if the light goes out here, it goes out everywhere. She says she can't protect it forever, but one of them will have to.

Jacob and Boy whose name we do not know are playing. Jacob's whining about the rules and whatshisname tells him one day he can make his own games and make up his own rules. Their real, bashed-in-the-head-with-a-rock mother appears to only whatshisname. He takes off to spend quality time with his mama. She says Jacob can't see her because she's dead and offers to take him across the island to the place he came from. There's a settlement and she tells him these are his people and he came from across the sea. Oh, and I'm your mother. Later whatshisname leaves the camp and takes Jacob with him. Jacob attacks him and punches him. His mother pulls them apart. Darkboy tells his mama how it is. He begs Jacob to come along with him and says they don't belong with evilmama. Jacob refuses to go. She tells darkboy that he will never be able to leave the island and he promises that one day he will.

Evil mama is crying on the beach. Jacob walks up and asks what's up and when's darkboy coming back. Jacob asks about his mother. She tells him that she wants him to stay good. He asks why she loves darkboy more than she loves him. She's got the "busted" look on her face, then gives him the lame "love in different ways answer" and asks him to stay. He says yes, for awhile.

Back at camp Jacob is all grown up and still weaving. Jacob has grown into a whiny doofus, a la Luke Skywalker. Mom looks a little loopy. Jacob goes to play with Darth. They play their game. Darth asks why Jacob watches the settlement. Darth says they're just as bad as mama always said. Darth says they're a means to an end. He's leaving the island. Darth throws his knife up against the magnetic well where Desmond is. He tells Jacob they found something and asks Jacob to come with him. Jacob says he doesn't want to leave. The island is his home. Darth says he's leaving. Mama questions Jacob and then goes through the jungle to see this for herself. She climbs down the mineshaft and finds Darth barbecueing. He pulls a knife on her and she asks if she can join him. He says no, sorry, he only has enough boar ribs for one. He explains that he couldn't find the light in the island, so he decided to dig for it. The donkey wheel is in the background. Darth pulls a piece of rock out of the wall and the light shines through. He explains how the donkey wheel works. She's mad and asks him how he knows all of this. He says he's special and sounds like Buster on Arrested Development. He tells her he doesn't belong here. She hugs him and they cry and say their goodbyes. She tells him she is so sorry and then smashes his head into the wall. She's got head bashing issues.

Jacob is sleeping and his mom wakes him up and tells him it's time. She takes Jacob to the light and tells him that he is going to protect it now. She tells him it's the heart of the island. She makes him promise to never go down there. He asks if he'd die and she tells him it'd be worse than dying. She gives Jacob the now famous bottle of wine and starts talking some hibbedly jibbedly and has Jacob drink the wine if he accepts the responsibility to protect the island as long as he can. He doesn't want to do it and tells her he knows that she loved Darth more. She tells him he has no choice. He drinks the wine. Why didn't he just choose Richard to replace him?

Darth is dead on the ground, then his eyes open. He sits up and the well has been filled in and all the people are gone. He is not happy with mama. He sees smoke in the distance and finds him settlement burning with all the people dead, not just dead. Mutilated. He finds his game and cries. Well, everybody on this show doesn't have daddy issues. Mommy issues are mega worse.

Mama and Jacob are in the jungle and it's thundering. She tells Jacob he needs to go. She smiles a knowing smile and wanders off. She goes back to the camp and finds Jacob's weaving torn to shreds and Darth's little game. Then Darth stabs her in the back, cause he's a brave one that way. She lies there bleeding to death and he crawls over and asks why she wouldn't let him leave. She says because she loves him. Then she thanks him and dies. Darth cries and Jacob stumbles up and asks him what he did and starts punching him. He finally stops, picks Darth up and drags him through the jungle to the light. He throws Darth in the creek and tells him to get into the light tunnel. Darth goes into the tunnel, then the light goes out and Smokey escapes. Anyone else think that's the magic Lipton hot tub? Yep, me too.

Jacob is rinsing his face and looks down the creek to see Darth laying on the rocks. He rushes over to him and cries as he hugs him and pets his hair. He carries Darth back to camp and lays him down in the cave. So the bodies in the cave are Mama and brother.

previews. Next week is the premier of the new LOST music video, apparently.

-There's something special about that there bottle of wine. Jacob had to drink it to take over the island. Richard had to drink it to become ageless. Hrmmmm.....

-What in the hades does the "light" DO?

-How did Jacobs little evil mama knock out muscular Darth, cave in a well and tunnel, kill and mutilate an entire camp of people, and set the camp on fire BY HERSELF. Insanity, I tell you.

previews. Next week is the premier of the new LOST music video, apparently.

Thoughts in the comments

Friday, May 7, 2010

LOST recap

Locke wakes up in a hospital bed with Jack standing over him. They chitchat and Jack says, "I think you're a candidate. For an awesome new surgery. Not to be landlord of the island. You suck at landlording islands." Peggy Bundy busts in the room right as Locke turns him down. She kisses all over Jack and Jack likes it.

On the island Jack wakes up in a boat with Sayid, who welcomes him to Hydra island. At Widmore headquarters everyone leers at the band of groupies as "Doughboy" tries to force them into the bear cage, because that's what you do when you're trying to protect someone from a smoke monster. You lock them in a cage with some fish biscuits. Sawyer steals Doughboy's gun and Widmore threadens to shoot Kate, saying she's worthless. I just joined teamed Widmore. Sawyer relinquishes his gun because he's WHIPPED and backs into the bear cage. Widmore orders his lackeys to get the fence fixed. I think he's tired of his team just sitting around and looking all worried like Doughboy.

Sideways Jack comes to see Bernard and asks about Locke's dental surgery. Bernie totally busts Jack on flirting with Rose on the plane. Bernard gives Jack Anthony Cooper's name.

Sayid and Jack are shooting the breeze on the beach and Locke comes up all Rambo and tells Jack to suit up, they're going to turn into smoke poofs and tear it up now. Jack tells Locke he's not leaving the island and Locke says, "Zoinks! Almost had a complete set!" Locke threatens to kill Jack and all his friends if Jack doesn't come with him. Jack says......suspense....and scene. I bet Jack says yes. Sawyer and Kate are pacing their love nest/bear cage. Sawyer tells Kate she's not as important as she thinks she is, and there will be no bear cage lovin' tonight. Buuuuurrrrrrnnnnn.

Jin and Sun are catching up (too cute!). Jin tells her that their daughter is beautiful and she gives him his wedding ring back. Suddenly the whole compound powers down and Smokey appears in the woods. He kills Doughboy (YAY!) as Kate reaches for the keys. Like everything on LOST, the keys are just out of the castaways reach. Jack unlocks the cage and rescues them all. And our show is interrupted for primary voting coverage. This better not be cutting into my show. Seriously. I don't care who the mayor is. Shut up and turn LOST on.

Back. They're walking through the jungle. Lepedis is looking r-o-u-g-h. Kate tells Jack he's not going and she's all pissed because she wants two boy toys and now she'll only have one. Sawyer thanks Jack for helping them. Sayid walks up and they have a stand-off before they all remember they're on the same team.

Jack's in a nursing home going to visit Anthony and Helen shows up. Helen tells Jack to get lost, he's not wanted here. He tells her it's not enough to know he saved Locke. He has to know that he fixed everything in the universe because he is the human equivalent to duct tape. She reluctantly takes him to meet a very old and catatonic looking Anthony Cooper, not because she wants to but because Jack is obviously crazy and you comply with crazy people. She tells Jack that terrified looking Anthony is John's father.

Back at the plane Locke stomps out of the woods and kills all of Widmore's men without breaking a sweat, or even turning into clicky sounding smoke. He stops and steals a guy's calculator watch. Locke, you can totally get those at Walgreen's for $6. He goes inside to inspect the plane and finds la bomba. The B.O. gang staggers out of the woods and Lepedis is excited. They see the dead people and Locke says, "Yeah, I did it." He tells them all about the bomb. Locke tells them all that they have to take the submarine off the island. Hurley tells them thht they're not supposed to leave the island. Jacob says they needed to stay. Sawyer joins the dark side, at least that's what I think he said. I was distracted by the cloud of swearing exploding from his mouth. Jack confirms that he's not leaving the island but will still help them. Sawyer tells Jack they need to get rid of DarthLocke because he's a downer. He tells Jack to get DarthLocke in the water, he'll take care of the rest. Sawyer, that's the best plan ever. Push the indestructible poof of smoke that's masquerading as Locke into the ocean. That'll stop him. Why didn't anyone else on the ISLAND, surrounded by OCEAN, ever think of that?

Sideways Locke is waking up and Jack's hovering over him. Locke is sleeping and mumbles, "Push the button." and "I wish you had believed me." Jack goes out into the hall and runs into not jungle-fied Claire. It's amazing what a little glossing cream will do. He buys an Apollo bar from the machine and offers it to Claire who refuses it because she's one of those weirdos who refuses free chocolate.

Claire shows Jack a music box that Christian especially wanted her to have. She asks what it means and Jack says he doesn't know. Claire asked how Christian died and Jack tells her he drank himself to death in Sydney. He figures out they were both on flight 815. The music box is nondescript. Of course, Jack didn't check it for a false bottom. Duh. Jack asks Claire to come stay with him because they're family. She likes hearing that.

On the island the suspenseful music is still playing. That is one worn out orchestra, let me tell you. Sawyer makes a plan and asks Jack if he has his back and does a big obvious *WINK* *WINK*. that was so subtle, Sawyer. They all run like a bunch of doofuses when they're carrying guns. Sawyer's in the sub with Lepedis. He quickly disarms some geeky goon and then tells Lepedis to point his gun at the captain. The captain looks all confused. He was just hanging out, looking through his periscope and suddenly there's massive B.O. and guns all up in the submarine. Jack knocks DarthLocke into the water. Kate gets shot and it's pretty awesome, but it's only in the shoulder so she'll probably live. Darth Locke crawls back up on the dock and he's pissed because that was his only pair of underwear and now he has to wear wet underwear all day. Sawyer tries to get Claire, but he has to shut the door. Locke tells Claire to calm down and trust him, she doesn't wanna be on the sub. Kate's being all dramatic about her little gunshot wound. Jack looks in his bag for a bandage and finds the bomb. DarthLocke pulled the age old "switch the briefcase" trick and Jack FELL FOR IT.

Jack tells Lepedis to take them to the surface. Sawyer and Jack argue about the bomb and sawyer doesn't listen and rips the wires out. The bomb counts down super fast. Sayid tells Jack he's the one and grabs the bomb and runs. It explodes and chaos breaks out in the sub. Everyone's trying to get out before the sub sinks. Sun's been crushed by a big heavy object. Lepedis is gone. It takes Jin, Sawyer and Jack to move the heavy thing trapping Sun and Sun shouts, " April Fools!" Big heavy thing wasn't pinning her at all. She's apparently melded to the side of the sub. Jack takes Sawyer out of the sub and Jin desperately tries to free Sun. Jack tries to give him an oxygen tank and Jin refuses. Jin and Sun are resigned to their fates. Sad. Jack swims off with lifeless Sawyer. Lots of underwater shots. Sun tries to convine Jin to go but he refuses and continues trying to free her. She begs him to go. He refuses again, and talks to her in Korean because she doesn't seem to understand "No" in English. They kiss. That's right. Don't worry about your infant daughter who will be orphaned and left in the care of your horrible father-in-law. The sub takes an incredibly long time to sink to sad music. Jin and Sun hold hands until they drown. It's uber sad. I can't talk about it. I can only say it totally pwns Titanic any day.

Sideways Locke is leaving the hospital and sees Jin with a huge bouquet of flowers and seems to recognize him. Jack approaches Locke and says goodbye. He tells Locke he went to see his father. Jack told Locke that he crashed a plane with his father inside on his first official flight. Locke tells Jack it was his fault. Anthony's the way he is because of something he did. Jack tells him that it helped to hear that Christian was gone, and tells Locke that Anthony is gone and he needs to let it go. He and Jack cry together. Jack asks Locke to let go first. Locke tells him goodbye. Jack tells John he can help him and says, "I wished you believed me." Locke has a memory. I hope it's the one of his horrible father pushing him out of a skyscraper, because then he could finally let it go.

On the island Jack washes ashore with Sawyer. Hurley and Kate the load stumble up. She starts freaking out and crying all over Jack because Sawyer is looking dead, so it's Jack's turn to be her boyfriend. She asks about Jin and Sun and everybody cries. I mean everybody in the whole world because that was the saddest death ever on this show. Hurley's sobbing and it's breaking my heart. Jack walks back out onto the beach and cries. This time it's justified. Let it out, Jack. Let it all out.

Locke is standing on the dock and tells Claire that the submarine sank. Claire asks if they're all dead and Locke says, "Not all of them" and tells her he's going to finish what he started.

Previews. Next week seems to be about Jacob and man in Black. Maybe we'll finally get the backstory on these brothas. Death count: Sun, Jin, Sayid, Lepedis (I assume), and countless extras. Basically the show is now a bloodbath. And, um, serious Richard deficit again this episode.

Yes, I'm working on it.

I do have a LOST recap this week. It will be late. Tuesday was M's birthday so we were out all night. We did watch it Wednesday night and I intended to work on the recap and put it up yesterday. Remember this from my list on Tuesday?

-I had never been vomited on.

Yeah, I spent yesterday being puked on and cleaning up puke. M was sick again. She's feeling better now, though. I'm not. I'm updating my blog at 3Am. Not because I love you (I really do), but because my allergies have forbidden me to sleep a the moment. I am beating them into submission with benedryl, though. Should be back in sleepyland soon.

I'll try to post the LOST recap today, then I'm going to do a top 10 of the day a la Lauren's blog challenge this week. Maybe I'll even do more than one. GASP.

Oh, and it's May 6th and I've cardio-ed every day of May so far. High Five!

Peace out.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Three years ago today

-I didn't know the words to every song from every Disney Princess movie ever made
-There were no kids' songs on my MP3 player
-I didn't know that Sleeping Beauty's name was Aurora
-I had forgotten how fun it is to play with Play-Doh
-The only thing that would have gotten me out of bed at 2 in the morning would have been a fire.
-I didn't know about great literature like "Bear Snores On" and "Te Amo Bebe, Little One"
-I had never been vomited on
-I had never gotten out of bed super early to make someone chocolate chip pancakes on her birthday.
-I didn't know the inner workings of, and every nook and cranny in, Childrens Hospital.
-I had forgotten the wonder in watching a movie on a movie screen.
-I had forgotten the wonder in looking at the sky and the grass.
-I didn't know what pain was.
-I didn't know what worry was.
-I didn't know what it felt like to be so protective of someone that you would die for them.
-A fun day of shopping would have been a trip to the department stores in the mall. Now it's a trip to Babies R Us, Toys R Us, or the Disney Store.
-The backseat of my car was free of stains, and strangely empty.
-I knew what to do with my hands when I wasn't holding a child. Now I don't.
-I fit in size 4 jeans.
-I would have freaked if I put my hand in my purse or pocket and found a used tissue.
-I never would have left the house with peanut butter in my hair and a dried gummi bear stuck to my butt.
-I had never wiped someone's nose with my shirt.
-I hadn't fingerpainted since kindergarten.
-A quick trip to the grocery really was just a quick trip to the grocery.
-My life was incomplete and voided and I didn't even know it.
-I was riding in the car at 6am, going to meet my daughter.
-Our family became more complete than it ever was before.

Happy Birthday, Sweet Miss M! Mommy loves you!