Friday, December 18, 2009


This has been a bad week. M hasn't gotten sick anymore, but we had a lot of tests this week. She had a gastric emptying exam on Wednesday. It was so bad, it was just really long. Today she had an upper GI and blood tests. For the upper GI, they had to strap her to the table, so her ankles, knees, waist, and chest were strapped down. Then they pulled her arms above her head and strapped her wrists, then taped her head down. Then I had to stand there and make her drink her chocolate barium while they did the X-rays. It wasn't much fun for either of us. Luckily the test was short. Then we did the blood test. They missed the vein in her right arm, so they ended up having to stick her in her left. That was a nightmare. But she got a balloon, stickers, a new toy, a puzzle, a book, and chocolate ice cream out of it.

The gastric emptying exam will tell us if there's something wrong with the opening at the bottom of her stomach where it empties into the intestine. The upper GI will tell us if she has a problem in her esophagus, stomach lining, or if her intestines/colon are twisted or out of place. The blood tests are a more comprehensive RAST panel and more intestinal disorders.

If the GI specialists gets an abnormal report from the tests they'll call us by Wednesday. If everything is normal we won't hear from them. She has a follow-up appointment with the GI specialist on the 8th.

Hubs and I had a talk and we've decided that if they don't find anything from these tests that we're going to go with the CVS diagnosis. These tests will rule out any severe problems, so we don't feel the need to continue to put her through rigorous tests if it could be as simple as she has a crazy sensitive gag reflex. What they'll probably do is stop the testing and observe her, meaning we'll have to return to the specialist once a year for a check up. I'll update if we hear anything before Wednesday. After Christmas I'll decide for sure about the LOST updates. As long as she's well then I'll probably do them. I can't skip out on the last season. :)

If you don't hear from me before Christmas, Merry Christmas to all of you!

Thursday, December 10, 2009


We went to the GI specialist today where they ruled out Chrohn's disease (HUGE RELIEF). They said they think she has a condition called Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome, but they're not 100% certain. Unfortunately the only way to diagnose CVS is to rule a bunch of other stuff out. So we're having more tests done. Next week she'll have more blood panels done then she'll have an upper GI exam and a Gastric Emptying Scan. If anything on those tests comes back abnormal her specialist will notify us immediately. If everything come back normal I think they will probably go with the CVS diagnosis. The doctor is pretty sure that's what's causing it, though, sure enough to go ahead and start treating her for CVS, because it's just 1/2 tsp of medication per day. Next week is going to be a really rough week. She's already terrified of doctors now, and I know dragging her to the lab two or three times next week is not going to go over well. Besides the blood draw I'm most worried about the upper GI exam because she has to drink a cupful of barium. Have you ever drank barium? It's like liquid chalk. It's not going to be much fun to force a two year old to down that and I honestly don't know if I'll be able to.

I'll have to take M to the tests by myself because they only allow one parent in the lab. Hopefully we'll have some news by our appointment on January 8th.

I've been considering my blog the last few days and if all of this blows over by the time LOST starts back up in February I may go ahead and blog until the season's over. It is the final season after all. But it will hinge on M's health at that point. I'll keep you all posted.

Monday, November 30, 2009


M has an appointment with a GI specialist on the 10th. I wish I could write a happy blog post and be all funny, but I seriously can't right now. Thank you for reading anyway.

Friday, November 27, 2009

M update - kind of

We had a good Thanksgiving and still have not heard the results of the RAST test. M ate and didn't throw up so I was happy. We should hear results later today or Monday. I have a feeling in my gut that the RAST will come back normal, which means on to a pediatric GI specialist, CT scans of the intestines, tubes down throats, and more blood tests. It's not fair.

I have decided that I'm definitely ending the blog. I won't delete it until I can let everyone know what's wrong, but I feel I have no other choice. She needs me, plain and simple. I need to focus on my family and my daughter. I'll miss the blog, especially when LOST comes back on in February, but I don't know what else to do.

If you're a member of one of my mommy communities I will try to check in there occasionally, or you can e-mail me at

I'll miss everyone I've gotten to know through my blog. There are countless other wonderful blogs out there to read. I know a lot of people who have kids who are sick blog about it as an outlet and I think that's wonderful, but I just can't do that. I'm not made that way. If you really want updates on M, though, e-mail me at the address above and I'll tell you any information that I may have.

Thanks for reading and commenting on my blog, even though it's not that much to look at. You're all pretty awesome and I'll miss you.

ETA: Her doctor just called and she has no food allergies, so we go to the GI specialist next week.

Monday, November 23, 2009

M update

Most of her tests came back today and they were all normal. All that's left is the food allergy test and it's still pending. The nurse is supposed to call me as soon as they have the results. If the RAST is normal then it's on to a pediatric GI specialist.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Taking Stock

My life has been a complete whirlwind lately, hence the deplorable state of my once cheery blog. I have honestly never felt more lost in my life.

See this little person? She is one of the two loves of my life. The great love of my life is the Hubs. She's a close second. You see, I would do anything for them, anything they needed, without batting an eye at my own self preservation. When she came into our lives she made everything better. She made Hubs a better man. She made me a better woman.

She's a beautiful ball of sunshine. She doesn't walk, she bounces. She has an eternal grin, and infectious laugh. She has big blue eyes like her dad and dark blond hair like me. She likes pink. She likes to wear a tutu with cowboy boots. She's a good friend and a perfect daughter. She's a whole lot better than I could ever hope to be.

And she's sick. And we don't know why or with what. We don't know if it's serious or minor. We don't know. The not knowing is the worst. I've spent a lot of the last week evaluating what's important to me. I love blogging. I love my online communities. I love facebook. But I don't know if I can or should do them anymore. You see, she's scared, and more than anything she needs her mommy. Truth be told, Hubs and I are both scared, too. And when I'm not being brave for her, we need to be there for each other, not keeping up with our internet obligations. So I'm considering ending my blog. I know there are a very few of you who faithfully read it and to you I'm truly sorry. I haven't made an iron clad decision yet, so the blog will be left up for now. Tomorrow we're going to Children's Hospital to have some tests done (if you are a friend on Facebook, please don't mention this there. We're limiting what we broadcast to the world). I'll post when we know results from that test at the end of next week. Hopefully I'll have made my decision by then.

Thank you for reading. I really do appreciate all of you.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

New Moon Premiere

So my city had a New Moon premiere last night. It was a charity function. Tickets cost $100. I didn't go. Kristen and Taylor were there. Hubs and I drove by the theater. At one point Hubs said, "There's Jacob! I see him!" I said, "Where?!" and he said, "He turned into a wolf and ran away!"

The Hubs thinks he's funny.

We saw a police car with it's lights on. It was awesome.

That was my trip to the New Moon premiere. Did anyone else go to a premiere?

I don't even want to go to the movie. The first movie made me sad because it wasn't much like the book. Then I saw the previews and I am not a fan of Obi-Wan-Kenobi Edward. My friend is making me go with her, though. She promised me some movie theater nachos. That's right. I can be bought.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

M update 2

We took M to the pediatrician this morning and they referred us to Childrens Hospital. So on Saturday morning we'll head to the lab there for some tests. Right now they're looking at food allergies and gluten problems. If they find nothing from these test we'll be referred to a pediatric GI specialist for further testing. Hopefully they'll find something from the testing as food allergies would be much easier to treat than a physical intestinal problem.

She's feeling good today. It's rainy so we built a fort, made cupcakes, and made handprint turkeys. Hopefully she'll stay healthy until we can figure this out. And hopefully we'll figure it out before Christmas.

Thanks for the prayers! I may try to do a LOST update this week, since I am woefully behind and neglecting my poor, shabby blog.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

M Update

M's had a good few days with no stomach issues, so YAY! She has an appointment with a gastro doctor on Tuesday morning, so hopefully we'll know more then. We've been so bored. I've been keeping her in the house because I don't want her to catch anything before this appointment. I'll be able to let you know more on Tuesday. For now she's doing just fine, though!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Need some prayers

M is sick. I'm going to have to call her doctor again tomorrow. She threw up all day, spent four hours in the pediatrician's office under observation, and is feeling worse again. Her "throw up" episodes are getting more frequent, so there has to be an underlying reason. Best case scenario is a food allergy. Worse case is, well, a lot of horrible things. I'm calling her pedi first thing in the morning and asking them to run some tests on her GI track and other things. The tests will probably be miserable.

As a person with chronic health problems, I am constantly in fear that my daughter will have them, too. This is terrifying for me and miserable for her. Hubs is very concerned as well. I don't know how often I'll post in the next few days, but I'll try to keep everyone updated.

Thanks, Sara

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Things I love today


These napkin rings I made as door prizes for my mommy group. I want to keep them. Maybe I'll win them as a door prize. This project was cheap, and I'll probably make sets for friends for Christmas. It took 16 gauge bronze wire, 28 gauge bronze wire, and glass beads. Thanks to JoAnn's and their fabulous Veteran's Day coupons (because nothing says Veteran's Day like a well made craft), I finished this project, 4 rings, for 3.59.


This Snow White dress I made for M for Christmas. I like it now. I hated it when I was making it. It's the only thing she asked for for Christmas and I, being the dolt that I am, thought I would make it instead of just buying one. This dress was the biggest pain in the butt to make. I'm not even kidding. It has applique. It has darts. It has gathers. It has a zipper. It has a popped up detachable collar. It has piping. I wanted to scream by the time it was over with. But it's done now and it's cute! And it's closer to Snow White's dress than anything they have in the store so Woo Hoo! And I may or may not have not had cording on hand to do the piping. And I may or may not have cut the string off of one of M's pull toys to use as piping. I may or may not be a horrible mom.

My Cocomotion. I love it and I love the fact that it's making cocoa for me right now. Because I'm cold. And in need of chocolate.


My turkey. I bought my Thanksgiving turkey and I'm so excited! I'm not, however, excited that we still have a tiny freezer and my turkey takes up the whole thing. Dear Hubs: I want to move into a bigger house where I can have a deep freezer. Thanks.


Cinnabons. Love them. Love that I ate one at the mall today. Love that you can almost go into diabetic shock just by smelling one.'s Cinnabon season.

What are YOU liking?

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Whatever Happened to Thanksgiving?

I love autumn. It is my favorite time of year. The air is cool with just a bite of winter to it. I get to wear my sweaters again. I start making soups and hot cocoa. The leaves turn and fall from the trees. Kroger starts selling cinnamon brooms. Everything smells like pumpkin. Like I said, it's my favorite time of year.

So it makes me sad that after Halloween everything becomes about Christmas. It's only fitting, since my favorite season is autumn, that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I love the simplicity of it. I love how it's just focused on family and giving thanks for the harvest, friends and family, blessings in general. It's relaxing. It's a turkey slow-roasting in the oven while M and Hubs watch the Macy's parade in their pajamas on the living room floor. After dinner we put up the tree and trim it. M loves it.

I was sad today. I went to Wal-Mart to buy some dish detergent and the store was completely decked out in Christmas. Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas, too. I just wish that Thanksgiving could get its due. We have seven weeks until Christmas. Do I already have to have candy canes and tinsel shoved in my face? Hobby Lobby had their Christmas aisles set up in July. JULY! I was still wearing flip flops and dying from heat exhaustion.

So I'm pleading with everyone to just STOP with the Christmas-ing already. We have a whole month after Thanksgiving to focus on Christmas. Just stop right now and be thankful for what you have; for who you have. It's time everyone took a step back from the commercialization and just focus on their families for awhile.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Convo with the Hubs

So we just had this conversation on the phone:

Me: Why are you humming Yankee Doodle?

Hubs: It's one of my songs.

Me: What? We've been married for 9 years and this is the first I'm hearing about your songs.

Hubs: *sigh* I have songs playing in my head all the time. Yankee Doodle is one of them.

Me: **snicker**

Hubs: Why are you laughing at me?! Like you don't have songs playing your head all the time.

Me: What other songs play in your head?

Hubs: The Entertainment Tonight theme song. But it's usually Yankee Doodle. When I wake up in the morning Yankee Doodle is playing in my head.

Me: **Dies from laughter**

I swear, I live with a Martian. I get songs stuck in my head, sure, but I don't have an internal playlist. Does anyone else have Hub's problem? Because he seems to think it's the norm.

Lost Character of the Week


Richard…the man we know so much about, but know nothing about. Here’s everything you need to know about Richard. He’s fierce (see above photo). He doesn’t age. He’s always rocking the starched shirts, even though is cohorts look like a merry band of hobos. He know his eyeliner and hair gel.

Richard has been on the island, looking the same, for years. He killed a bunch of soldiers on the island in 1954 and stole their hydrogen bomb. He was the leader of the hostiles when Ben was an innocent little nerd. He eventually recruited Ben and saved his life after Sayid shot little Ben. He visited Locke when he was a child. He confused Locke by laying a bunch of junk items in front of him and asking which belonged to him. Locke chooses a knife and Richard gets all offended and stalks out. PMS much?

Let’s try to unwind this and start at the beginning. Richard was with the others in 1954 when they found the hydrogen bomb. Ellie and Charliebarf Widmore were part of the Others during this time and eventually became the leaders. After the others killed the soldiers who brought the hydrogen bomb they stole their tents, clothes and supplies. During this time Ellie captured Daniel, Miles, and Charlotte after they time traveled. She brought them back to camp. Ellie wanted to shoot them, but Richard listened and finally declared that Daniel was, indeed, a scientist. Daniel offered to disarm the bomb and Richard agreed. Soon after Locke arrives and asks to speak to Richard. Richard orders Widmore to stand down. He is so fierce. Locke asks him how to leave the island and Richard tells him that’s confidential. In other words, Richard’s a stingy-butt with his secrets.

Fast forward to the 1970’s. Richard’s still running around the jungle and looking fabulous. He really hates the Dharma Initiative. At one point he’s so pissed that he strides into camp with a torch and sits on a bench, which is totally what I do when I’m angry. Sawyer comes out and is all, “Sorry I accidentally killed your friends.” And Richard is all, “It’s okay. What conditioner do you use?” Later Sawyer and Kate take little Ben to Richard, who takes him to the temple and heals him. He also turns Ben into a raving psychopath, but we can overlook it because this is our Richard we’re talking about here. Then Daniel, so torn up by the death of Charlotte and angry because he can’t seem to untie his tie and take it off, storms into their camp with a gun, demanding to talk to Ellie, aka his mama. Richard tries to calm him down. Daniel points the gun at Richard and Ellie shoots Daniel in the back. Richard’s all, “What the heck, Ellie??”

Then it gets really confusing. Widmore storms in with Jack and Kate as prisoners. Ellie orders their release and takes them to the bomb to remove the core and encase it in concrete. Richard, Ellie, Kate, Jack, and some redshirt hothead named Erik all walk to the creek. Sayid pops up out of the forest and kills Erik and Richards says something like, “That’s okay. No one really liked him anyway.”

Years later Ben steals a baby and Richard’s all, “Awesome.”

In the 90’s Richard leads the purge of the Dharma Initiative.

In 2001 Richard recruits Juliet to work for the Dharma Initiative.

After the crash, Richard met Locke and suggested that he have Sawyer kill his father, since he was having trouble doing it himself. Locke is stoked at the idea.

After the survivors contact the freighter Richard sets out to lead the Others to safety in the temple.

Richard intercepts Sayid and Kate in the jungle while they’re looking for Jack and tells them that he will guarantee their space on the helicopter if they help him rescue Ben, so they agree.

In 2007 Richard is building a ship in a bottle, because even a guru needs his arts and crafts time, and Locke shows up, but now we all know it wasn’t Locke. It was the bad man in the black shirt using Locke’s body as a puppet. They pack up to “go on an errand” and Sun shows up to tag along. John takes them to the Beechcraft stuck in the trees. He gives Richard a medical kit and explains that a man will stumble out of the jungle with a gunshot wound. He tells Richard to fix the wound and tell him to bring everyone back to the island, and that in order to do that he would have to die. He also told him to give his compass to the man. The man was Locke.

Darth Locke then informed Richard that he was going to lead the whole group of the Others to Jacob and Ben did a mental fist pump. Richard tells Darth Locke that Jacob made him ageless by lending him this great cold cream. Richard took them to the bachelor pad in the giant foot. Richard waits outside with the others while Locke and Ben go into the foot. A few minutes later Ilana shows up, remember the hoochie with the great earrings? She tells Richard they found something Uh-mazing in a box and Richards asks what it is. It’s……wait for it……..wait for it……LOCKE! DUHN DUHN DUUUUUUUUHN! Richard does a facepalm. End of season.

Sawyer nicknames: Your buddy with the eyeliner, Hoss

Sources: Lostpedia, Wikipedia, a ton of my DVDS

What did I miss? I know I missed something…

Monday, October 26, 2009

So I love

My new shoes. I'm not even lying. I got them this weekend on sale. I've only been eyeballing them FOREVER. DH finally relented when I pointed out the sale. And told him that he can get that remote control car he wanted. We both win! So I bought them on Saturday and on Sunday I rocked them at church. Only they hurt my feet bad. Hubs said, "Why do you keep wearing them?" I said, "Duh, because they're cute. Look how cute my feet are right now!" Men have no idea.

Anyway, here they are:

Aren't they FANTASTIC?? I heart them so much. Looking at this picture makes me want to go put them on with my pajamas right now. And I guarantee if I did, they would look fabulous.

My only problem is I don't have much to wear them with. I wore them with a long black skirt and my gray sweater on Sunday, but I didn't like it because the long skirt took away from the cuteness of my shoes. So this morning I got up early and went on a thrift store search for something to go with my shoes. I found this:

Did you hear angels singing just now? Cause I heard them when I found this skirt. It is awesome. And I got it for 6 bucks at my favorite friendly thrift store. Score!

My only problem now is that I don't have a shirt. I can't find one anywhere that goes with this skirt. So I need some help. Any suggestions? Anyone? Anyone??

Lost post this week. :)

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Thrifty Christmas

It's been awhile since I posted a Thrifty Christmas post, so here are some of the things I've been working on lately:

M likes to pretend to cook with me. And she likes that I wear an apron and reaaaaaally wanted one of her own, so voila! I had some fabric leftover, so I made her a matching oven mitt and I made her the adjustable chef's hat just for fun. Total cost: $6 in supplies

She likes to pretend she's a doctor. I like to encourage this because if she's a doctor when she grows up, she can afford to put me in a better home when I'm senile. So I made her some scrubs for her doctor pretend time. Total cost: $4.00 supplies

I don't know if I've posted her diaper bag on here before or not, but here it is. See, she likes to carry a diaper bag when she carries her dolls. We only have one diaper bag, the gigantic one I carried when she was a newborn. It's almost as big as her and she has a hard time lugging it around. I made this one without a pattern and it turned out great! There are lots of pockets on the inside and outside for all the junk her babies need. Total cost: $0 (no pattern, fabric scraps)

She also loves to use wipes when she pretends to change her babies, but I hate giving them to her because they're expensive. So I made this little holder and filled it with white felt squares for her to use as baby wipes. That way we're not just throwing money away, which is what Thrifty Christmas is all about!

Last, I crocheted this ninja for hubs. Only he found it because he's a Sneaky Pete. So it's sitting on his desk at work right now. Total cost: 75 cents, clearance yarn.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Things I love

I haven't posted in awhile, and the reason why is embarrassing. So I'm just going to come clean with all of you. I'm a boring person in real life. For reals. And we've had a very unpleasant stomach virus. NASTY! But it's all gone now and it didn't kill me. Hooray! So I decided, since it's such a lovely puke-free day, I decided that I'm just going to share things I love with you, since I've been reflecting on things I love today.

1) Sunflowers

Seriously. This is what I want my yard to look like. I love sunflowers that much and they're in season right now. There is a vase of them on my table right now. LOVE THEM! Happiness in flower form. If a sunflower got together with a daisy and had a baby, it'd be the happiest baby ever.

2) C.O. Bigelow Cinnamint Mentha Lipshine

Amazing! Love it! Tastes like Christmas! Go get yourself some at your local Bath and Body Works! (No, I don't work for them)

3) These burp rags I made for my friend's new baby.

I've never actually made burp rags before and they turned out cute!

4) This new damask print I just ordered.

It's going to be our new bedspread. I was going to get pink and brown, but Hubs said pink wasn't manly enough. I don't know what his problem is.

5) Hot Chocolate
And it's cold enough to drink it now. Mmmmmmm.....My Cocomotion has been getting a lot of action this past week.

6) The Double Trek Facepalm

Love it.

7) M's Picasso Potato Head Stylings

What are you loving right now?

Friday, September 25, 2009

Some books I love

I love Tales of Fourth Grade Nothing. It was the first chapter book I ever read. The only thing I remember from the first grade is reading this book. It also helped me as a person. As a youngest sibling I used Fudge as a guide for how not to act. And *spoilers* he eats the turtle. CLASSIC!

I am all about future books. I guess I like to read about the decay and absurdity of future society, or maybe it's just to hope that things really don't turn out this way. In any case, if you're into books about the future, read The Giver. It is a YA book, but aren't all good books YA books these days? I read this book in high school. I still get chills at the idea of a society where love and individuality are silly, antiquated, and un-needed and death is nothing more than a tool to unburden society.

I read this book in college. I actually pulled it out of a trash can. Someone had thrown it away. My first thought was, "Are they crazy? This has a textbook sticker on it! I'm so trading it in at the bookstore." My second thought was, "It's short. I like to read. And I don't want to study for economics, so I'll read this instead." I'm glad I did. It is a short book, about one day in the life of an innocent man in a Soviet prison camp. Nothing extraordinary happens in the book, just the description of the day to day life and survival of someone living in an unjust situation. Parts of it, extreme punishments and downright cruelty by officials, are shocking. The author of this book spent 9 years in a Soviet Labor Camp for writing a derogatory sentence about Stalin in a letter. Oh yeah, I failed my Economics test.

This is the Sorry, Edward, but it's true. And don't watch the movie because it doesn't do this book justice. First of all, this book scared the pants off of me. Seriously. The night I finished it I stayed up late. Hubs was in bed and I was too scared to get off the couch and walk to the bedroom. Second, it's very well written and in the format of letters and journal entries, so it's an escape from the normal narrative of a book. You get to see the stories from the points-of-view of multiple characters. Dracula is a true villain. There's no sympathy for him, no excuses, he's just a villain, and a scary one at that. The book is wonderful. Read it.

Back to the Young Adult/Future Fiction shelf. I'm including both books because they're a seamless continuation of one story. I'm not sure why they're out of order in the picture. Hunger Games is first, so read it first, or you'll be muy confused. I love these books because, first of all, the savior is a GIRL! And she's strong and she's revolutionary, but she's relatable. She has weaknesses (glaring ones) and insecurities just like any other girl. She has reservations about being the spearhead of a revolution against unjust government, but she knows she has to take responsibility at the same time. She can use a bow and arrow (so can I!). And she can use them well (I can't!). And she has two men falling all over themselves for her attentions. Peeta, who I love, and Gale. I hate his face. Anyway, Peeta's name makes me giggle because it reminds me of the first book on this list. Coolness points to anyone who can tell me what it reminds me of. Haymitch reminds me of half of my relatives. I devoured both of these books when I read them. Then Lauren and I e-mailed today about whether or not Katniss would pick Peeta or Gale. I assured her that Katniss would pick Peeta. Then I started doubting myself and ate half a box of Family Size Crunch-n-Munch. This is what you do to me, Suzanne Collins. Finish the third book, please.

What are some of your favorite books?

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Lost Character of the Week

First of all, congrats to Michael Emerson (BEN!) for winning an Emmy for best awesome villain of all time, or something like that. Now on to:

Off-center Emo Hobbit

Pre Island:

Charlie, whose middle name is Hieronymus (WHAT!?) was a good little altar boy. His mother gave him a piano for Christmas one year, but his dad was angry because he didn’t want him to go into music, he wanted Charlie to be a butcher. But all Billy wanted to do was dance! Wait, wrong story. But all Charlie wanted to do was write songs and sing them in a big diaper! Even though his dad was mad at him for wanting to make music, he still taught him to swim. That’s a good papa.

When Charlie became a little older, he started playing in the street for money. During one of his playing stints, he met a fine- looking Desmond and they had this conversation:

Desmond: Look at my awesome suit. We are friends on freak island one day.

Charlie: I like it. It is a very nice cut. What is this freak island? You are a handsome man.

Desmond: I am aware of that. Are you aware that I am made of awesome?

Charlie: I am. You are one sexy man. People shouldn’t do drugs.

That might not be verbatim. Charlie also sees a woman getting mugged one day and chases the muggers away. The woman is Nadia and she is muy grateful. Charlie is awesome.

Charlie later forms the band Drive Shaft with his brother Liam. Charlie was all down in the dumps because he thought no one would ever love the band and because he had to change the bus tire in the rain, but then they heard their song on the radio and were all “Huzzah!” It was grand.

When the band started making money, Liam started scoring heroin and got his baby brother hooked as well. Charlie tried to pull his brother out of the addiction, especially after Liam’s daughter was born, but there was no saving Liam. He eventually sold Charlie’s piano to buy a ticket to Australia. Wow. The evil family tomfoolery never lets up on this show. He eventually joined a rehab clinic and kicked his habit and turned into a family man. The band broke up. Charlie’s dealer told Charlie to form a relationship with Lucy, because she’s rich and could pay for his addiction. Charlie’s dealer is a winner. Charlie actually falls for the girl, but still steals from her to support his habit and she gives him his walking papers. Girl power!

Charlie flies to Sydney to convince Liam to reform the band. Liam refused and offered to help Charlie with his addiction. Charlie refused and booked his seat on Oceanic 815 instead. Charlie survived, even though his seat was in the mid-section of the plane. Know how he survived? He was in the front bathroom getting his snort on when the plane went down. Looooooser!

On the Island:

Charlie wanders aimlessly through the wreckage until he happens upon Claire playing pregnant victim. He offers her his blanket and she takes it. They start talking and it’s the beginning of true lurve.

He went with Jack and Kate into the jungle to find the cockpit, but only because he wanted to find his toilet heroin. He finds it and, yes, fishes it out of the toilet. Bleeeeech. He became friends with many of the survivors and none of them noticed his toilet drugs. Good friends, huh? Locke was awesome as usual and helped Charlie kick the habit by trading his guitar for the drugs.

A couple of days later Charlie changes his mind. Locke tells him no givsies backsies, but Charlie insists, so Locke tells him he has to ask three times and on the third time, he will give Charlie his drugs back. Because Locke is all about the games and is, apparently, a fan of the movie Beetlejuice. Charlie gets real mad and collapses a cave with his anger. Oh noes! Jack was inside! Charlie crawls in and saves him and afterwards he asks Locke for his drugs for the third time. Locke gives them to him and Charlie throws them in the fire! Be strong, Charlie!

After this a group of survivors, including Charlie, Claire, and their imaginary peanut butter, move to the rape caves because Charlie promises her she’ll be all kinds of safe there. Instead she’s attacked by Ethan and stabbed with a giant needle right in her baby stomach. D’oh! The next day Ethan accosted and kidnapped Claire and Charlie and hung Charlie from a tree. Jack totally saves him.

After Claire went missing with Ethan, Charlie turned all emo. He eventually talked to Rose and she helped him come to terms with it. I need to do a summary of Rose because she’s amazing.

Amnesia Claire finally returns, but she has no memory of what happened, including her friendship with Charlie. He’s crushed. They use Claire as bait to draw Ethan out, meaning to question him, but Charlie turns him into a slice of swiss cheese. Hell hath no fury like a hobbit scorned, y’all. Not long after, Claire gave birth to Aaron and Charlie was all about being surrogate daddy.

After Aaron is born, Rousseau shows up and kidnaps him. Charlie gives chase. They find Eko’s brother’s plane and Charlie finds the Virgin Mary heroin statues and is psyched. They catch Rousseau and Charlie returns Aaron to Claire. Claire’s all, “You’re the shiz.” And Charlie is all, “I know.” Then we all see the Mary statue in his backpack.

After they found the hatch, Charlie asked Hurley for some peanut butter, but Hurley denied him and Charlie was pissed. Eventually Hurley gave him the peanut butter and all was well in BFF land.

Claire finds out about the heroin statues that Charlie’s been stockpiling in the jungle and kicks him out of the tent because she doesn’t want him around her baby. Charlie starts having dreams about needing to save Aaron and even kidnaps Aaron in order to baptize him and Claire is pissed. Locke punches Charlie in the face a lot, too. Charlie decides to get in leagues with Sawyer and helps him steal the contents of the gun vault (including the heroin). He later tells everyone he only did it to make Locke look stupid. Memo to Charlie: Locke usually makes himself look stupid all on his own.

Later he helped Eko build a church. Eko abandoned the cause to push the button in the Swan, but Charlie continued building the church on his own. Vincent shows up with a heroin statue in his mouth. Charlie follows him and finds all of the statues in Sawyer’s stash. Charlie takes them and throws them in the ocean. Locke sees him and smiles a creepy smile. They have Ana Lucia and Libby’s funeral and Claire holds Charlie’s hand. Then Desmond shows up in his sailboat because he can’t get away from the island.

Charlie was in the Swan when Locke decided to let the clock run out and when Desmond turned the fail-safe key. He runs back to the beach, temporarily deaf, and Claire makes out with him. Score!

At this point, Desmond starts following Charlie around and annoying him by trying to save his life. Hurley and Charlie get Desmond drunk and he reveals that he can see the future, that Charlie is going to die, and Desmond can’t stop it! Charlie plans a date night with Claire. He writes a list of the five best things in his life, with Claire being number one! Later he swims with Desmond to the Looking Glass to communicate with the boat. He gets in touch with Penny and discovers that the freighter is not Penny’s boat. He relays this message to Desmond before drowning.

He appears to Hurley in the mental institution, looking all hot in the afterlife, to tell Hurley that the people on the island need him

Off Island Connections: Desmond saw Charlie as a street performer in London. Charlie saves Nadia. Hurley and Charlie stayed in the same hotel in Sydney. Charlie visits Hurley as a ghost/vision/something.

Sawyer Nicknames: Sport, Chucky, Tattoo, Babynapper, Oliver Twist, Munchkin, Three Men and Baby, Jiminy Cricket, Amigo, Rock God, Limey Runt, VH1 Has-been, Hobbit