Thursday, April 22, 2010

LOST recap

Yeah, I'm not even going to type out the recaps anymore. Bad stuff is happening.

I love the look on Locke's face. "Ahhhh....my candidate collection is complete. I'm going to make so much on Ebay." Jack asks if Hurley minds him talking with Locke alone and Hurley tells him no. Jack asks him "Why John Locke?" and DarthLocke says Locke was stupid and Jack was nice enough to bring his body back. Jack asks Locke if DarthLocke was pretending to be Christian (the person. Not a Christ follower, 'cause that he ain't). DarthLocke says yes. Jack asks why and Darth Locke said it was to lead Jack to water. I guess he forgot that there are thunderstorms about 238923847293846 times a day on this island and Jack didn't need to find water. He said he wants to help Jack leave. Locke says that because of the fact that Jacob chose him, he was trapped, but since Jacob is dead they can all leave. Once again, all of the candidates have to leave with him (or die by someone else's hand). DarthLocke says Locke was not a believer, he was a sucker, but his body's mighty comfy! Someone tell me why Locke's head never gets sunburned. Ahhh..the mysteries of LOST.

In the ambulance Ben is giving info to the paramedics on Locke (not DarthLocke but smashed by Desmond's car Locke). Locke gives them Helen's name and tells Ben his name is John. Sun is being wheeled in next to Locke. She starts saying it's him and looking at Locke. So Sun recognizes Locke. Did she have a vision/memory/flashback? You better believe it.

Locke tells Claire to come out of the jungle, because she sucks at hiding and he's humoring her. She asks how he knew she was there and Locke tells her he could smell her from a mile away and even if he couldn't he could see her gigantic matted hair sticking up over the bushes. Locke asks why she was following them and she says because Jacks' her brother. Locke sighs and walks away so Claire and Jack can have their happy reunion moment. Claire tells Jack that it's good to see him. She says it means a lot that he's coming with them. He says he hasn't decided if he is and she says yes he has, he decided the moment he let Locke talk to him, so whether he likes it or not, he's team Locke now. Jack is troubled by this because Jack has only ever been Team Edward before.

Hurley and Sawyer are talking about the sub. Kate's filling Sun in on the sub. Hurley tries to speak in Star Wars to Sawyer and he tells him he's not interested in discussing Ewoks. Can't you see we're in trouble here, Hugo? Claire comes up and hugs Hurley and Hurley tells her she looks great. I spew Sprite out of my nose from laughing so hard.

Police Sawyer is questioning Kate. He asks if she remembers him and she says yes. He says something is trying to bring them together. She asks if he's hitting on her and he says no, it would never work. He's a cop and she's a murderer. She tells him she knows he was in Australia and doesn't want anyone to know. Sawyer almost wets his pants, but I don't know why. They were on the same plane coming back from Australia. Of course she knew he had been in Australia. Miles calls him over, explains the restaurant shoot-out, and shows him footage of Sayid. Sawyer says get him, he's the bad guy.

Kate and Jack are talking about how bad Sayid is now when Glasses strolls into the camp. She asks for Desmond back. She tells her walkie talkie to show them what we're capable of. A rocket or bomb or something crashes into the jungle behind them and Locke doesn't even flinch. That is one powerful walkie talkie. She gives Locke the walkie talkie and tells him to call when they're ready for them to pick him up, and next time they won't miss. Locke smashes the walkie and yells, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT I CAN'T DO!" Wait, that's the old Locke. DarthLocke just looks excited. I understand. I took a toaster apart when I was seven and thought it was the shiz to see how it worked inside.

Claire is signing in to go visit the adoption agency. Of course, cupid Desmond shows up and chats her up. He asks why she's going to an adoption agency alone. He tries to get her to come see his lawyer first. He's kind of freaking her out, and he tries again to get her to meet the lawyer. She finally agrees. His lawyer is Illana! Illana tells Claire they've been looking for her. Weird!

JungleClaire asks Hurley what's going on and Hurley tells her people are trying to kill them again. Locke says they're going to the other island now. Locke asks for Sawyer's help. He sends Sawyer and Kate to get the sailboat. Kate is ecstatic because she loves Sawyer. Jack. Sawyer. She just needs a man, not really picky. Locke summons Sayid and they walk off together. Jack has his "Oh Crap" look on his face. Sawyer tells Jack to get Hurley, Sun, and Lepedis and meet them at the rendezvous point in an hour, and don't bring Claire because we don't want the B.O. in the sub. That's an enclosed space. Locke sends Sayid to kill Desmond. Zombie Sayid goes on his merry way to the well in the woods.

Sayid approaches the well. Des is sitting at the bottom in a pool of water and despair. He asks Sayid what Locke offered him. Sayid says Locke told him he could have Nadia back. Desmond asks what makes Sayid think Locke can bring her back and Sayid says he died and Locke brought him back with his magical Lipton Tea Hot Tub of Awesomeness. Des asks Sayid what he will tell Nadia when she asks what he did to be with her again. Sayid is perplexed. How will he ever describe a pillar of smoke who can turn into a dead person? She won't care that he killed Des. Just another notch in his killing belt.

Sideways Sayid is packing his suitcase and getting ready to leave. He tells Nadia goodbye. She asks what he did and he tells her to stall them. Miles is at the door and holds up his badge. She opens the door. Sayid tries to sneak out the back door and Sawyer trips him with the water hose and arrests him. Sawyer may be the best cop ever. I've never seen anyone use a water hose with that level of skill.

Sawyer and Kate find the boat. Kate asks what they're doing and Sawyer says not going to get Locke. He then compares Lepedis to an extra in a Burt Reynolds movie. BIGGEST LOL OF THE NIGHT! He informs her that they're not bringing Claire back with them and Kate gets all pissy, but there's really nothing she can do about it since she can't drive a boat. Jack and Claire are walking together. Jack asks her why she trusts DarthLocke and she says he didn't abandon her. DarthLocke asks Sun if she's seen Sayid and she gives him the stinkeye. DarthLocke is growing tired of her attitude. DarthLocke runs off to find Sayid, Jack rallies the troops and they run off together. Claire watches and she is mad. Not someone used the last deodorant mad, but someone stole my skull baby mad. Darth finds Sayid and Sayid totally lies about killing Des. You know he didn't do it. Darth and Sayid head back to the group and Jack and his minions run to the dock. They all load up. Claire is pointing a gun at them. I am so distracted by the rattiness of her hair. Seriously, is there a nest of raccoons in there? Kate asks Claire to come with them and she will take her back to Aaron. She tells Claire the only reason she came back was to find her and take her home to Aaron. Claire lowers her gun and boards the boat. Kate takes her gun. Claire says if he finds out they're gone, he's gonna be mad.

Sideways Jack and Sideways Jack's Son are wearing matching suits and entering Illana's office. They are there for the reading of Christian's will. Illana introduces Jack to Claire. She tells Jack that they're siblings. Jack is so shocked he's seriously overacting. The hospital calls and he asks if they can reschedule.

Back on the boat Sawyer is so worried he looks constipated. Kate's relaxing like she's on vacay in the Caymans. Lepedis asks about the plan and after Sawyer tells him he says it's a good idea and goes down to the cabin to scout out for food with Claire and Hurley. Sawyer approaches Jack and tells him he's happy he decided to come along. Jack says leaving the island doesn't feel right. Sawyer says they have pills for that. Jack says they're here because they're supposed to do something and if Locke wants them to leave then maybe he's scared of what happens if they stay. Sawyer tells him to get off the boat. He tells him he can either get off the boat or shut up. Jack apologizes for getting Juliet killed and jumps off the boat. Kate is distressed as she has lost one of her man toys. Saywer tells her that he is her only man toy now and she needs to simmer down.

Sun is in the sideways hospital. Jin is there, asleep and holding her hand. She wakes him up and asks what happened. He tells her she's going to be okay and that the baby is fine. He tells her it's over and they're all going to be okay. Jack walks by the door with David and he's questioning Jack about Claire. He leaves David in the hall to go do surgery on Locke. He notices that the patient is Locke and says he thinks he knows him.

Back on the island Jack makes it back to the beach and DarthLocke approaches him. Darth asks if Sawyer took the boat and Jack says yeah. Jin and Sun are reunited YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!! Hubs just said, "hope they turned the fence off." Werd. The fence was off. Everyone's happy to be back together and cheesy music plays. Lepedis points out that Sun can all of the sudden speak English again. Glasses has them all get on their knees. They drop a bomb on the other island. Jack has lost his hearing. Locke runs up and grabs him right before another bomb goes off. He asks Jack if he's ok and says it's all going to be okay. "You're with me now."


Confusing preview that tells us nothing.

3 comments:

Michele said...

Not too much in the "big reveal" department. I'm not feeling ANYTHING in the way of a wrap up... but I do feel that "something wicked this way comes" - so, rather than throwing us a bone every episode, they're really just building momentum and anticipation for the finale. Which means they have ONE chance to wow us. If the finale sucks, I might have to go postal.

I think Jack is plugged in to Jacob and doing the right thing by heading back to the island. I'm not worried that he will be led astray.

The Burt Reynolds reference to Lepedis cracked me up too. TOO FUNNY.

Claire's island hair kind of makes me want to gag a little.

Michele said...

SO disappointed that tonight is a re-run. What am I supposed to think about for the next week?

Sara said...

Me, too! BOOOO, LOST producers! Bad form!

I'm going to try not to think about anything. Keep the slate clean for next week. And they'd better blow me away because they can't cop out on me and then give a crap filler episode like last week.