I have insomnia. All the time. At least once a week. It really stinks. Sometimes people ask me why I don't just use that time to get things done. It's because I'm too angry. I really love my sleep. I think sleep is sacred and holy and wonderful and it makes me very angry when I can't sleep. Even moreso now that I have a child and I can't take naps during the day. Someone asked me the other day what it's like to have insomnia. I think everyone's experience is probably different, but here's what it's like for me.
9:00 - I start my bedtime routine. Yes, like a baby has a bedtime routine. I have one, too, per order of my doctor. All lamps but one go off in the living room, my computer goes off, tv goes off. I read or crochet, nothing involving bright lights.
9:45 - I brush my teeth, put on my pajamas, all that jazz.
9:55 - I do two Sudoku puzzles. I don't know why, but I can't sleep if I haven't done two of them.
10:15 - Go to bed. No reading, TV, or keeping my lamp on. Dark, quiet, cool.
Most nights this works. The nights it doesn't work, it goes something like this:
Brain says: "I won't go to sleep! You can't make me! Think of stressful things! THINK OF STRESSFUL THINGS!!"
Me: "Noooooooooooooooooooo! Go to sleep!"
Brain: "You're not my mom! I refuse to go to sleep!"
Ear: "I can hear everything within a 10 mile radius! Hooray! Brain! Stay awake and listen to my sounds!"
Me: "GO TO SLEEP"
Brain and Ear: "NO!"
Bird: " It's nighttime, but I'm going to sit outside your window and sing like it's daytime! LALALALALALALALALALALALALALA!"
Crazy Neighbor Dog: "OH MY WORD! THERE'S A BIRD! A BIRD! A BIRD! BIRDBIRDBIRDBIRDBIRDBIRDBIRD!"
Nyquil: "Take as much of me as you want. I'm not helping you sleep tonight!"
Neighbor Truck: "I'm a ridiculously loud piece of machinery. I shouldn't even exist because my noise is so obnoxious. That doesn't stop my owner from idling me in his driveway for 30 minutes at 2am then roaring off down the street like we're on the way to a fire or something."
Fire Truck: "I am on my way to a fire! WEOOWEOOOWEOOOWEOOOOWEOOO!"
Hubs' nose: "whistlewhistlewhistleSNOREwhistlewhistlewhistleSNORE"
3:00 am Everything is quiet. I start to doze.
Brain: "Did you remember to unplug your flat iron?"
4:00am I finally fall into an uneasy, not restful sleep.
7:00 am M wakes up.
Me the next day:
The point of this post? There's really not one. Just enjoy your sleep. And think of me and my pathetic unsleepy brain while you're wandering around in sugarplum land.