Wednesday, April 1, 2009

LOST recap

Thank goodness! We’re finally going to figure out what the frick happened to Aaron.

Ben’s not dead. How did that happen? Are you telling me that Sayid, in all his torturous glory, is not a sure shot? Horace gets all witchy when someone asks him a legitimate question. Sheesh. Take a Pamprin, Horace. Uncle Rico is totally hitting on Kate right now.

Kate has beautiful hair. Oh, baby Aaron is so cute! I miss having a little one like that. No, I’m not pregnant or planning on being so anytime soon. I want M to be the baby for a little while longer.

Man, I want some Red Lobster Cheddar Bay Biscuits so bad right now. I hate these dumbbutts who put these commercials on when it’s too late for me to make a Red Lobster run.

That is a lot of money for a tiny envelope. That woman is witchy, too. Share the Pamprin, people. Wow! That woman is a detective. She figured out about Aaron in 0.2 seconds. She could totally find Carmen Sandiego if she wanted to.

Miles is such a nice guy now. Dharma looks good on him.

How many times is Jack going to have to operate on Ben in this series? Ben should sing Wind Beneath my Wings to Jack in the series finale. “Did you ever know that you’re my hero?”

Haha! Back to the Future! I love Hurley. And I love Miles! And Hurley + Miles = Awesome Infinity.

Oooooo….Maybe the island just wants to fix things itself. Good call, Jack. And BURN! He’s totally calling Kate on her jerking-around-of-men.

And now Juliet and Kate are going to be all BFF and they’re going to toy with men’s emotions together and they will be an unstoppable man-eater force! OH NOES! Save us from the selfish women! We’re not all like that, writers of this show.

I feel kind of sorry for Uncle Rico/Roger Janitor Linus. And then I remember that he’s a sleaze and I don’t feel so bad.

Philosophical Hurley is CRACKING.ME. UP. Ooo, ooo! Everybody shut up! Hurley just asked the pivotal question. Why didn’t Ben remember getting shot by Sayid, or Sawyer working for Dharma, etc. And Miles is befuddled by it. Good game, Hurley.

Wow, Juliet’s solution to go to the others is interesting. I just thought that she or Kate would do the dance of the seven veils for Jack and seduce him into doing the surgery.

I want to see Slumdog Millionaire sooooo bad! Just to see the dancing at the end. With all of you as my witnesses, I vow to one day be a Bollywood dancer.

Aw. Kate’s falling on her sword to save Ben. I wish I cared more.

She let go of Aaron’s hand. Annnnnnd, he’s gone. What a moron. I can’t believe she did that. Never look away for a second. Never let go of his hand. Sawyer’s going to help her. WHY? Would some MAN please explain to me what kind of sex tractor beam this woman has that allows her to suck men in like this? I WANT ONE. You could control the world with a weapon like that.

Sometimes when M won’t give me a hug and I want one I’ll grab her and hug her and say, “Validate me! Validate me!” And we both laugh because it’s ridiculous. But Kate’s doing it for reals. Yikes.

Oh BURN. Kate got burned by both of them this episode. Sawyer’s all “I’m doing this for her, not you, you nasty fire-breathing skank.”

You know, I’m not a medical expert but maybe they should have brought a stretcher or something. I’m pretty sure if you’ve got an internal bleed that you shouldn’t be bounced around like a joey in mama kangaroo’s pouch. Ha! “Take me to Richard Alpert now! I’m running low on blush!”

Is it just me or is Jack kind of a jerk now? I think he has post-traumatic stress disorder from being a raging drunk and being in another plane crash all in the same week.

Are there not enough Fast and Furious movies in the world yet?

Kate is going to give Aaron to his grandmother. For the first time in this whole show she’s actually doing something right. Kate’s on the Road to Redemption, folks. That was actually pretty sweet. And really sad.

I don’t care if he wears makeup. Richard Alpert is sexy.

Wow, so this is how Ben turned into Ben. “His innocence will be gone.” Ew. I don’t want to know. Did you catch that? If Ellie or Charles find out? Hmmm…the Others are in touch with the outside world workers. He’s taking him to the temple! We finally get to see the temple. Nope, just a tease. We just got to see the door opening.

Big Ben is waking up finally. He’s staring at Locke and Locke’s looking at him like he’s about to tear him a new one. And END!

Previews! It looks like we do get to see the inside of the temple next week. Sweet! It looks like a Ben-centric episode. I could so sink my teeth into that.

Leave your observations.

Namaste, friends!

5 comments:

Rae said...

Betcha I could throw that football over that mountain over there.

Sara said...

Ha! I love it when he throws the steak.

Sara said...

Mad props to both Jack and Sawyer for telling Kate like it is. FINALLY!

Re: Jack being a jerk now. He does seem to have lost (ahhh) some of his initial good-naturedness and charm, huh? I still love him, though. And I'm still trying to decide if his character feels "off" on purpose or if it's just because he's taken a side role for the time being.

And I totally cringed when Roger started giving Kate the googley eyes. Gew.... I kept calling him Uncle Rico last night, too :)

Mad props to you for your great LOST recap--you never cease to make me laugh (in a good way) ;)

Michele said...

I like seeing the softer side of Roger Linus. I didn't like the thought of him and Kate... at all. Excuse me while I throw up in my mouth a little. I think Roger Linus is a touch better looking than Uncle Rico, though. "Why don't you go eat a decroded piece of CRAP?"

Why - oh why will Ben's innocence be lost? Is it because he will be indwelt by Jacob or something? Which would make a little more sense about why he keeps doing such evil mastermind things. Especially when you compare the evil Ben to the sweet little pre-pubescent Ben.

And where the heck is Daniel Faraday, anyway?

I love it that Sawyer is standing by his woman. The "you and me could never work" thing... why? Why wouldn't it have worked? Because they argue too much? Is Juliet somehow more submissive? Kinkier? What? I don't get it.

The new Jack is just jaded. He feels like he can't make a difference against the island - he's just a little cog in the giant works of the island. Poor little guy - I don't like him so whipped. I like him when he dons his superhero cape and tries to save the world.

What happened to Tom the weird beard? He didn't die, right? Last I remember he was swilling some 'gnac in his swanky apartment with his boy toy.

Why can't I surprise a wet Jack walking out of a shower? I'd do it you know - point me in the direction of the bathroom and I'll be happy to deliver any message you wish - I'll even wear Juliet's permasmirk to behold that greek god... well, he's a little too skinny to be a greek god. Maybe more like a chippendale. Or one of the Thunder from Down Under guys. Seriously - it isn't even about his junk. He can wear a loin cloth. I don't need to see what he's got. I just want to see what he looks like with water dripping off of him... ahhhh... yummm..... I'm sharing TMI, aren't I? ;)

How did Cassidy go from swindling people with fake gold to living in a cute little house in the suburbs?

Sara said...

Sara - Yay! I made you laugh! :) I want Jack to stop feeling "off" too.

Roger Linus looks more like Tom Petty than Uncle Rico now, I guess.

I don't know. That whole "He will lose his innocence" stuff was pretty messed up. Someone should tell Richard that little Ben was already pretty creepy.

I'm not sure what happened to WeirdBeard. I want him back, though. I loved him like I love Hurley. He was the Hurley of the others, if you think about it.

Haha! about your Jack in the shower comment. Tee hee hee. Loincloth.

Don't you know that once you have a baby you get a cute little house in the burbs? Right? I guess she's living off all the money she's stolen.