Lost Character of the Week

Fierce

Richard…the man we know so much about, but know nothing about. Here’s everything you need to know about Richard. He’s fierce (see above photo). He doesn’t age. He’s always rocking the starched shirts, even though is cohorts look like a merry band of hobos. He know his eyeliner and hair gel.

Richard has been on the island, looking the same, for years. He killed a bunch of soldiers on the island in 1954 and stole their hydrogen bomb. He was the leader of the hostiles when Ben was an innocent little nerd. He eventually recruited Ben and saved his life after Sayid shot little Ben. He visited Locke when he was a child. He confused Locke by laying a bunch of junk items in front of him and asking which belonged to him. Locke chooses a knife and Richard gets all offended and stalks out. PMS much?

Let’s try to unwind this and start at the beginning. Richard was with the others in 1954 when they found the hydrogen bomb. Ellie and Charliebarf Widmore were part of the Others during this time and eventually became the leaders. After the others killed the soldiers who brought the hydrogen bomb they stole their tents, clothes and supplies. During this time Ellie captured Daniel, Miles, and Charlotte after they time traveled. She brought them back to camp. Ellie wanted to shoot them, but Richard listened and finally declared that Daniel was, indeed, a scientist. Daniel offered to disarm the bomb and Richard agreed. Soon after Locke arrives and asks to speak to Richard. Richard orders Widmore to stand down. He is so fierce. Locke asks him how to leave the island and Richard tells him that’s confidential. In other words, Richard’s a stingy-butt with his secrets.

Fast forward to the 1970’s. Richard’s still running around the jungle and looking fabulous. He really hates the Dharma Initiative. At one point he’s so pissed that he strides into camp with a torch and sits on a bench, which is totally what I do when I’m angry. Sawyer comes out and is all, “Sorry I accidentally killed your friends.” And Richard is all, “It’s okay. What conditioner do you use?” Later Sawyer and Kate take little Ben to Richard, who takes him to the temple and heals him. He also turns Ben into a raving psychopath, but we can overlook it because this is our Richard we’re talking about here. Then Daniel, so torn up by the death of Charlotte and angry because he can’t seem to untie his tie and take it off, storms into their camp with a gun, demanding to talk to Ellie, aka his mama. Richard tries to calm him down. Daniel points the gun at Richard and Ellie shoots Daniel in the back. Richard’s all, “What the heck, Ellie??”

Then it gets really confusing. Widmore storms in with Jack and Kate as prisoners. Ellie orders their release and takes them to the bomb to remove the core and encase it in concrete. Richard, Ellie, Kate, Jack, and some redshirt hothead named Erik all walk to the creek. Sayid pops up out of the forest and kills Erik and Richards says something like, “That’s okay. No one really liked him anyway.”

Years later Ben steals a baby and Richard’s all, “Awesome.”

In the 90’s Richard leads the purge of the Dharma Initiative.

In 2001 Richard recruits Juliet to work for the Dharma Initiative.

After the crash, Richard met Locke and suggested that he have Sawyer kill his father, since he was having trouble doing it himself. Locke is stoked at the idea.

After the survivors contact the freighter Richard sets out to lead the Others to safety in the temple.

Richard intercepts Sayid and Kate in the jungle while they’re looking for Jack and tells them that he will guarantee their space on the helicopter if they help him rescue Ben, so they agree.

In 2007 Richard is building a ship in a bottle, because even a guru needs his arts and crafts time, and Locke shows up, but now we all know it wasn’t Locke. It was the bad man in the black shirt using Locke’s body as a puppet. They pack up to “go on an errand” and Sun shows up to tag along. John takes them to the Beechcraft stuck in the trees. He gives Richard a medical kit and explains that a man will stumble out of the jungle with a gunshot wound. He tells Richard to fix the wound and tell him to bring everyone back to the island, and that in order to do that he would have to die. He also told him to give his compass to the man. The man was Locke.

Darth Locke then informed Richard that he was going to lead the whole group of the Others to Jacob and Ben did a mental fist pump. Richard tells Darth Locke that Jacob made him ageless by lending him this great cold cream. Richard took them to the bachelor pad in the giant foot. Richard waits outside with the others while Locke and Ben go into the foot. A few minutes later Ilana shows up, remember the hoochie with the great earrings? She tells Richard they found something Uh-mazing in a box and Richards asks what it is. It’s……wait for it……..wait for it……LOCKE! DUHN DUHN DUUUUUUUUHN! Richard does a facepalm. End of season.

Sawyer nicknames: Your buddy with the eyeliner, Hoss

Sources: Lostpedia, Wikipedia, a ton of my DVDS

What did I miss? I know I missed something…