Things that are "lamespice"

A couple of weeks ago Lauren wrote a post on her wonderful Busy Bee blog about things she thinks are lamespice. She invited everyone else to do the same and I didn't do it. Because I'm lazy. But lame stuff has been plaguing me lately so I decided to go ahead and write it, even though it's really late in the game. So here is my list of things that are lamespice:

1. Myself

Hubs, M, and I went on another road trip yesterday. We planned to be home around 8pm, but something else on my lame list happened and we didn't get home until after midnight. I was stumbling around and shooting my mouth off out of complete tiredness. I told Hubs that if he let his alarm go off multiple times in the morning instead of getting out of bed I was going to flog him. He just laughed, so we had this conversation:


Me: I mean it! I'll wear those things and if M cries you'll have to get up and take care of her 'cause I won't hear it!


Hubs: What things?


Me: You know, those things you plug your ears with.


Hubs: You mean earplugs?


Duh.

2. Tire blow-outs

Yeah. On the interstate. In a major city. During rush hour. Win! The worst part was that no tire place was open within a 30 mile radius. We were still over 200 miles from home, so we couldn't just drive home on the doughnut spare. We finally found a Sears in a nearby city that was open. They are NOT lamespice. They hooked us up. And they were in a mall, so I didn't have to sit with M in a stinky automotive center while they fixed the car. Instead we at Sbarro's and went to Macy's. It was still lame, though, because it set us back 3 hours in our trip. As for the not lame Sears workers, we bought them a cake at Great American Cookie Company, because we love them so much. I wanted one that said, "You're Awesome," but the GACC workers said it would take to long to make a new cake (hello, welcome to the lamespice subcategory). So I just bought a generic one.

3. Abercrombie and Fitch

First of all, their ads are borderline pornographic. For the men, pull your pants up and invest in a belt. No one wants to be walking through the mall with their two-year-old and see your almost uncharted territory. As far as the ad ladies go I'm going to share something with you that you don't know. If you don't have a shirt on you cannot just brush your hair over your chest and have that suffice. You will still get arrested for indecent exposure.

Aside from the nasty ads, I hate the way this store smells. I can smell it from three stores down. It may be the most offensive thing about your store. I will never buy your clothes because I never want that smell in my house. It seems to permeate everything. And it's not even a good smell.


4. Our Newspaper Man's Aim

Really? In the ditch again? You can't hit the meters of yard past the ditch?

5. Special Agent Oso

If you haven't watched this show on Disney, then I applaud you for living Oso free. M loves this show. I can't stand it. Why IN THE WORLD is he a special agent when he can't even rake leaves or tie his shoe without instructions from a 3 year old?

6. Seafood

I hate seafood. Hubs loves it. So I occasionally aquiese and let him eat at Red Lobster on our date night. Everything smells like a salty foot in a seafood restaurant. I have never smelled fish that smelled good. It makes me gag. So seafood is lamespice in my book. The only one that's not lame is tilapia.


7. The Third Harry Potter Movie

I love the Harry Potter books. Love them. Lots. I was visibly crushed when we left the theater after the third movie. And what made me even more sad was that everyone else in the world seemed to love it and think it was wonderful. Here are the reasons it is lamespice:

• The whole Marauder story is not properly explained. It is a BIG factor in the book (and subsequent books) and it barely got acknowledged in the movie. They're in the Shreiking Shack and Harry wants to kill Sirius. And Sirius is all, "I was your dad's friend!" And Harry is all "Ok!" What??!?! That took about ten pages of dialogue in the book! And I'll add that Hubs was VERY confused as to why everyone suddenly trusted Sirius. He hadn't read the third book yet when we saw the movie. So I'm not the only one who thought it was confusing. I had to tell DH that Lupin, Sirius, James, and Wormtail were the orginal Marauders and that Remus and Sirius were, in fact, friends. That should have been explained in the movie because it's and important plot point.
  

• They added way too much stuff that DIDN'T need to be there and omitted the Marauder dialogue. I honestly can't remember all the dumb stuff that was added, but off the top of my head, they could have removed the choir holding giant frogs and added 3 minutes for Marauder explanations. And Harry's Buckbeak ride didn't need to be so long. And the ride on the Knight Bus was neverending. Just sayin'.

• Sirius the dog looked like a Muppet. I know that they couldn't use a real dog, but they could have done better than that.

• I didn't like the CGI werewolf at all. He didn't look like a wolf. And I was uncomfortable the whole time because he looked way to much like a human and part of my brain kept thinking "He should be wearing pants."

So there it is. My list of lamespice stuff. I'm sure it's much longer than that, but that's all I can come up with right now.