Dear Pizza Hut,
I love you. I love your hot pizza that is delivered to my door by your magical pizza fairies. Please never go away.
Dear Hubs,
You are the loudest morning person ever invented. Here is a rundown of how LOUD you were this morning while I was still trying to get my snooze on: You left your alarm on after you left the room. And I couldn't figure out how to shut it off, so i had to resort to wrapping it in your underwear and sticking it in the bottom of your sock drawer. Then you peed forever. See a doctor. After that you ate your cereal. SLURP SLURP CLINK CLINK. Seriously? We have been married forever and a day and I've never heard you eat that loudly. Then all the opening and slamming drawers in the bathroom. I don't understand. You tried to explain and I still don't understand. Sunday is the ONLY day that I don't get up at 5am to go to the gym. I just want to sleep until 7. Sunday is the ONLY day that you are a sasquatch when you get ready in the morning. What gives??
Dear Cars movie,
I have you memorized. Please break so M can't watch you anymore. Thanks.
Dear People who want to see Harry Potter with us,
It's not going to work. Because you expect Hubs to take a day off work so that we can go to a matinee. He's not going to do that. His company started layoffs this week. Taking a day off so he can go to a movie is probably not a good idea. And I'm not going without him, sorry.
Dear Mouthbreather,
Never stand behind me in line at JoAnn's again. And if you do, have the courtesy to pop a mint first.
Dear JoAnn,
I love you because you have your patterns on sale this week.
Dear Hobby Lobby,
Same for you.
Dear Mall,
I love you because you're getting a Forever 21 and I don't have to pay shipping anymore.
3 comments:
Oh my gosh - I could have written your letter to your hubby!!! :-) That totally cracks me up. My husband has no idea how loud he really is. I need to invest in ear plugs.
Pizza. Oh pizza. I do love you. I've missed you terribly ever since I moved out to the boondocks and your loyal pizza purveyors refuse to service me. With pizza. Get your mind out of the gutter.
Does Forever 21 sell anything that is above a size 2? I've never shopped there - I figured my womanly curves would scare the fitting room attendant.
I am laughing so hard, out loud at my laptop. If anyone saw me right now they would think I'm a little off-center cuckoo! I seriously have tears in my eyes and had to hold my belly while I laughed. You could have been writing that letter to my husband. Does yours leave crumbs on the counter even if you cleaned the kitchen before you went to bed the night before?? lol
Michele - I think the loud thing is a man blind spot. They think they're all stealthy when they really have the grace of a blind elephant. As for Forever 21 I'm all about their accessories. They are beautiful. I've bought some clothes before, but not many. I make a lot of my clothes now. :) You should peruse their website, though, and see what you think.
Rose - Yes, he does. He's an animal. We should start a support group.
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