LOST recap

Recaps! Daniel is dropping the F bomb again. Bahahahaha. That one will never get old.

We get to see Kate and Jack’s reactions. Here comes Charles on his pony. He just kicked Jack in face for no reason. What a prick. I can’t get over how much middle-aged Charles Widmore looks like Smeagol. And I think the lady looks like Penny now. Good call, whoever said that on TWW.

Richard is building a ship in a bottle on the beach. Funny! Locke didn’t kill that boar. It dropped dead when it saw Richard’s gorgeousness. I’m liking his sapphire shirt. Mmmmm. Ben is looking a little worse for the wear. I feel really bad for him now. He’s been beat up by Desmond, Sun, the temple floor, and the smoke monster/Alex. I think they have a surplus of fake blood that they need to use up before it expires and they’re using it all on Ben.

Richard’s been there a very, very long time. Dun dun DUHHHHHNNNNNNN! Oooo, he watched all the Dharmites die. That’s really sad. It kind of seals the deal now that they have to set off the H bomb (hee hee) to keep everyone from dying. Because now Sun, Locke, and Ben are the only ones left. Well, there is Sayid. What happened to him in 1977? My theory is that he turns into Rousseau. That’s why he likes Rousseau so much when he first meets her.

Locke seems pretty chipper for someone who just found out that all his friends died. I don’t like that dude because he hits girls. He obviously doesn’t have a mother to teach him manners. Is Richard the only civil one in the bunch?!

Oh BURN! Jack basically told Kate that she wasn’t worth not undoing the plane crash. You’re right, Jack, she’s not worth it. She’s a hussy. You can do better.

This show is so confusing now. I don’t know where I am or where I’m going. Hubs just said, “We just wasted five years of our lives watching a show that didn’t happen.” AHAHAHAHA! Witty, Hubs. Love you.

The H bomb is underneath the Dharma base! Oh, he is NOT manhandling Sawyer. NO! Stop him Horace! Shoot him! Shoot him! That guy is an arse. Not liking him. I’m not going to like it if they kill Sawyer. Okay, so they’re using some of the fake blood surplus on Sawyer. That makes me even more angry.

Why aren’t they using the truth serum guy? Ummm…does he not still live in the woods in his ganja smelling tent?

Oh no! Not Hurley, too! Chang sees him. Okay, so history, math, and government aren’t Hurley’s strong points. I bet he kicked butt in shop class. I thought there was going to be a sweet reunion between father and son, but that Chang is all business.

Charles just touched Eloise’s belly and said “your condition.” Is she pregnant with Daniel now? Creepy.

I love how they’re all so scared of Jacob. It’s so funny. Every time someone says his name, they’re all :o

Locke is saving himself. That is so cool. And confusing. Can injured Locke not see the big torches burning in the jungle??

Ben is jealous of Locke and his love affair with the island. Don’t worry, Ben. I think it’s probably just a summer thing. Ben looked like a kid in the principal’s office. He so doesn’t want anyone to know he killed Locke.

Who is this guy who thinks he is the boss of me? I mean, the boss of Chang? Aw, Sawyer, I love you so much. I just want to hug you and sponge your face and pretend that you just called me sweetheart and not that skank.

Kate is such a moron. Here comes Kate’s death. Sayid to the rescue!!! There is so much man sexiness in this episode. I almost can’t take it.

What? Kate’s not dead? Disappointment is coloring my face right now. Jack’s hair is seriously cute infinity tonight. The sticky bloody look is working for him. Kate is a moron. Hatin her!

Little Char is leaving and there’s Chang, Mama Chang, and baby Miles. Awwww. See Miles, your daddy was a GOOD man. Sawyer is looking rough. I want to pet his hair and make him feel better. Don’t kiss her! She’s a skank! You’ll probably get all kinds of diseases. I totally thought he was going to give the island the finger when he was climbing into the sub. Instead he just said, "Good riddance." Bah. The finger would have been better. Work on your comedic timing, Sawyer.

Couldn’t Richard and Jack have gotten closer to the waterfall before they took their deep breath and swam through the tunnel?

Richard doesn’t want to go see Jacob. I know his cabin is pretty spooky and it’s dark, but Locke is pretty good with a knife. I would do what he says. Field Trip! Booyah!

EEEEWWWWWWW! Haha! Kate’s locked in the brig with Sawyer and Juliet! YES! Verbal catfight. How awkward is that? There they go! The sub has been launched.

That’s the biggest bomb I’ve ever seen. Not that I’ve seen many bombs. In fact, I’ve just seen that one.

I thought the others left to see Jacob in the night time. Look at them walking in two straight rows, just like in Madeline! “In an old house in Paris, all covered in vines, lived twelve little girls in two straight lines…”

Locke is going to kill Jacob. Who else thinks Locke is off his rocker?

Previews!! Sawyer and Juliet and Kate come back!?!?! Lepedis is there? And his shirt is buttoned? THAT WAS AN AWESOME PREVIEW! Next week is the two hour season finale! SWEET that it’s two hours but BOO that it’s the finale it makes me so angry that I’ll write a run on sentence about it.